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The PalArse of Westminster

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Exposing the hypocrisy, greed and incompetence of our "respected" elected political "elite".

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Dorries Displays "Irony"



It seems that Nadine Dorries has attacked Steve McCabe MP (Lab Selly Oak), for taking time off from Parliamentary duties so that he could recover from a heart operation.

There's "irony" for you!

Monday, 26 November 2012

Tories Raise The White Flag To UKIP



With calls from Michael Fabricant, the Tory vice chairman for campaigning, for a pact with Ukip it seems that the Tories are not only raising the white flag to Ukip but also admitting the defeat of  maintaining a coalition with the Liberal Democrats.

To admit defeat some 3 years before the next election is hardly a winning strategy.

Friday, 23 November 2012

Directgov Website Hacked



Oh dear, it seems that someone has hacked the Directgov website.

Here is a job advert that appears to be fake, that will no doubt be removed very quickly:
"

Secret Intelligence Service

Target Elimination Specialist

Job description

From time to time the UK government has a need to remove people whose continued existence poses a risk to the effective conduct of public order. So we require particularly skilled professionals who are prepared to work on a non-attributable basis to deal with these problems.

The role will involve international travel to a number of countries where individuals need to be removed.

The ideal candidate will need to have no particular distinguishing features so as to blend in and be able to take on new identities as required. They will need to be resourceful in finding ways to accomplish their missions and, in some cases, to leave foreign countries by non-conventional means. The role would suit candidates with prior military experience, particularly in the use of sniper rifles.

The job holder will receive all necessary equipment, including passports, special watches, jet packs, mini-submarines and a Walther PPK.

This role is particularly appropriate for those who like their martinis shaken and not stirred.

To apply for this role, please express your interest somewhere in the vicinity of the large and rather fake-looking rock in Regent's Park."

Thursday, 22 November 2012

Nad's Out

Nadine Dorries has been evicted from I'm a Celebrity Get Me out of Here, no great loss there.

As she packs her bags it emerged that despite previous claims that she had been given permission to appear on the show by Andrew Mitchell when he was chief whip, it transpires that Dorries was being a tad economical with the truth.

The reality was that she had been given permission to take a month off, but had not told the chief whip that she taking time off to appear on the show.

A politician lying?

Surely not!

Monday, 19 November 2012

Nadine's Missing Whip - Update



Andrew Mitchell's office has, according to The Telegraph, told the Huffington Post that he "was neither asked nor did he agree to Nadine Dorries going off to Australia for a month to take part in I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!

Cameron Declares War



Speaking at the CBI Conference David Cameron said that Britain was in the "economic equivalent of war" and pledged that the government would be quicker because "in this global race you are either quick or you're dead".

Question: Is Cameron a wartime leader?

Nadine's Missing Whip



Despite the fact that the Tory party has removed the whip from Nadine Dorries, her daughter claims that Dorries had been given permission to go to the jungle by the party.

Unfortunately the person who allegedly gave her permission to take a month off was the previous chief whip, Andrew Mitchell of #gategate fame!

Saturday, 17 November 2012

David Gauke's Hypocrisy



I see that Gauke, who bemoans the "morals" of others, has decided to keep some of the profits made on his taxpayer funded London flat that he sold in August.

That's the spirit eh David?

The Coalition Is Crap



Based on it performance to date, and taking into account U turns, failed policies and the ongoing omnishambles of bureaucratic cock ups etc I have concluded that the Coalition is utter crap.

I await the day that it can be consigned to the dustbin of history!

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Nads, Anus and Camel Toes



Nadine Dorries continues her descent from MP to Z list "celebrity"; as she feasted on camel toe, ostrich anus and a variety of other delicacies during another episode of "I'm A Celebrity Get Me out Of Here!".

She claims that her appearance on this show will bring politics to the masses.

I assume that must be the reason, other than the money that it will bring in, that she has signed up with an entertainment management company in the hope of securing further television work.

Monday, 12 November 2012

Advice To Tim Davie



Take some media training before you next appear in front of a camera.

Advice To The BBC



Your headline and article about "Incurious" George's payoff is misleading, you only refer to the £450K salary bung.

You have forgotten to mention the £877K pension pot.

This brings "Incurious" George's total payoff to £1.3M!

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Farewell Incurious George



Farewell then to "Incurious" George Entwistle who resigned as Director General of the BBC last night, after a mere 54 days in the job.

"Incurious" George will be remembered as the only person in the media who, apparently, only became aware of the subject matter of the Newsnight story broadcast on 2nd November after it was broadcast.

Thursday, 8 November 2012

Phillip Schofield's Little List


Phillip Schofield wrong footed David Cameron on today's edition of This Morning when he produced a list of alleged Tory child abusers.

The stunt was theatrical, and the list according to Schofiled was gleaned from the internet (ie based on gossip, innuendo and yet to be substantiated allegations). Unfortunately the Prime Minister was knocked off balance and managed, in an attempt to explain the dangers of a witch hunt, to equate homosexuality to child abuse by fretting over the dangers of this turning a witch hunt into people who are gay.

Advice To Eurocrats



Don't display your delusions in public!

Picture courtesy of Bruno Waterfield.

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Nadine Dorries Loses Her Whip



Poor old Nadine Dorries has had the Conservative whip withdrawn from her, as a result of her decision to self serve her ego and her bank balance by going to Australia to appear on "I'm a Celebrity Get Out of Here".

However, all is not lost, I dare say that the £40K that she stands to earn for appearing will go some way to assuaging her heartbreak at losing the whip.

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Question For Nadine Dorries



Are you an MP working for the benefit of your constituents, or a wannabe Z list "celebrity" massaging your ego and filling your bank account?

Friday, 2 November 2012

Newsnight



Newsnight will be interesting tonight, it may well spell the end of the career of a member of the Cabinet.

The name of the minister which the BBC may name is already in the public domain as per an article written by his accuser.