Anne Longfield: Starmer's Shameless Slotting of a Crony into the Grooming Gangs Gravy Train – A Betrayal That'd Make the Stasi Snigger

Ah, dear readers of the PalArse, gather round the dying embers of British justice while I pour another round of righteous bile. Just when you thought Keir Starmer's Labour circus had plumbed the depths with their £22 billion fibs and TikTok two-facedness, along comes this fresh turd polished to a peerage: the appointment of Baroness Anne Longfield of Brooklands – yes, that Anne Longfield – as chair of the national grooming gangs inquiry. It's not just tone-deaf; it's a deliberate middle finger to every victim, every taxpayer, and every shred of decency left in this sceptred isle. In the immortal words of our Shakespearean spinners, oh what a tangled web of Westminster wankery Starmer doth weave.

Let's rewind to spring 2015, mere weeks into Longfield's gig as Children's Commissioner for England. This wasn't some wide-eyed do-gooder; no, she was already engineering a shameless abuse of public funds that would embarrass even the most cynical Whitehall operator. Her close associate – and deputy, no less – Sue Berelowitz was granted an inflated £134,000 redundancy payout, well beyond statutory norms, only to be rehired the next day via her freshly incorporated firm at £1,000 per diem. That's potentially £180,000 annually for part-time duties, dear hearts. Bypassing mandatory ministerial oversight for contracts over £20,000, the deal reeked of cronyism and tax evasion, funnelling payments through a limited company to dodge National Insurance. Exposed by The Times, it collapsed amid DFE condemnation, forcing a £10,000 repayment to the Treasury. Longfield's limp defence of "good faith" fooled no one – least of all the survivors now gagging at her elevation.

Fast-forward a decade to autumn 2025, and Sir Keir Starmer bestows a life peerage upon this architect of fiscal impropriety, dubbing her Baroness Longfield of Brooklands, before swiftly slotting her into the chair of an inquiry demanding unflinching impartiality. Her nominal resignation of the Labour whip does little to dispel the stench of bias, given her long-standing Labour connections and friendships within the party – not least with Harriet Harman, her very good friend and veteran Labour MP who has long praised Longfield's work as "such a great gleaner of all the information" that shapes Labour policy on children. Gleaner? More like a magpie nicking shiny baubles from the public purse while the real foxes guard the henhouse.

And oh, the scandals don't stop at dodgy payouts. Dive into the X-verse, where Joe Rich (@joerichlaw) nails it like a hammer to the thumb of truth: Longfield and Berelowitz cooked up one of 2015's biggest scandals in child protection, a whitewash so egregious it makes Rotherham look like an open book. Survivors are already reeling from the scrapping of their advisory panel, decrying this as a "disgusting" whitewash, with critics branding it a £64 million exercise in Labour marking its own homework. As one X reply thunders: "It is pretty obvious that Starmer ennobled this woman so he could appoint her to lead the grooming gang inquiry and limit its scope and findings. The Labour Party is up to its neck in the cover up and Starmer wants to cover this up too." Spot on – and echoed in the chorus of outrage: "The peacocking dictator is a sanctimonious boor who is literally taking the proverbial piss out of every single victim!" from @CathyMo41926708, or @Fortyplus4's plea: "Read the right hand page first. It absolutely stinks. Get someone from abroad... #Liebour are marking their own homework here."

That Starmer would entrust this inquiry – meant as a reckoning for institutional failures – to a figure tainted by such grubby deal-making is not merely inexplicable; it is a grotesque betrayal of victims, taxpayers, and justice itself. In Labour's Britain, evidently, probity is optional, and loyalty trumps all. Survivors howl for names, for accountability; instead, they get a peerage parade and a probe primed for prevarication. No open files, no forensic fury – just another backdoor euthanasia of truth, saving a few bob on real scrutiny while the grooming gangs' shadows lengthen unchecked.

This isn't oversight, comrades; it's orchestration. Labour has zero intention of an open and honest inquiry – why else nobble a Labour loyalist with a rap sheet longer than a Maxwell ledger? Starmer's sanctimonious sons of tools are eviscerating justice faster than they culled winter fuel payments, all to shield their own. Demand better, or watch the PalArse descend into full farce. Contact your MP, flood the feeds – or we'll all be wiping Westminster's collective arse next.

Amazon Suggestions for the Disgusted Reader:

• The Spider: Inside the Criminal Web of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell by Barry Levine – because if Longfield's cronies remind you of anything, it's elite enablers dodging the noose.
• Stasi State or Socialist Paradise?: Short Stories of East Germany by Woodrow Hamilton – a timely reminder that surveillance and scandals start with "good faith" cover-ups.
• The Strange Death of Europe: Immigration, Identity, Islam by Douglas Murray – for the grooming gangs context Labour so desperately wants buried.

Starmer Joins Tiktok, Despite Cabinet Ban

 

The British Cabinet have been prohibited from accessing TikTok on official government devices since March 2023. This policy applies to ministers, civil servants, and corporate devices across all departments, with limited exemptions only for specific work-related needs (e.g., the recent launch of an official "ukgov" account under strict security controls). The ban does not extend to personal devices. 

Notwithstanding the ban, Starmer has today started using TikTok to shore up his ever sinking ratings.

He currently has around 1,000 followers, compared to Farage's 1.4 million! 

Dave Wants Migrants To Wipe His Arse

🚨NEW: Zack Polanksi on why we need migration: "I don’t know about you but I don't want to wipe someone's bum" pic.twitter.com/pXjodkHydm

— GB Politics (@GBPolitcs) December 5, 2025

  

Don't be like Dave, don't be an entitled c*nt!

Starmer’s Assisted Dying Lie: The Leaked Docs Prove He’s Engineered a Backdoor Euthanasia Plot to Cull the Elderly and Save a Few Bob on Pensions

 

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive – and Keir Starmer, that sanctimonious son of a tool, has spun a silken shroud so vast it could smother the entire geriatric wing of the NHS. Yesterday’s leaked Labour policy note – straight from the bowels of opposition-era scheming – has finally ripped the mask from the Prime Minister’s pious face. For months, Starmer has bleated that the Assisted Dying Bill, Kim Leadbeater’s Private Member’s gambit, was nothing to do with Labour policy. A free vote! Neutrality! Hands off, guv! Bollocks. The documents scream the truth: this was a calculated stitch-up, a secret coordination to legalise state-sanctioned suicide via the back door, all while dodging manifesto scrutiny and parliamentary accountability.

Picture it, dear reader: while the rest of us were faffing about with inflation and winter fuel payments, Starmer’s shadow cabinet huddled in smoke-free rooms, plotting how to funnel euthanasia through a Private Member’s Bill. The leak, splashed across The Guardian and the Mail like yesterday’s takeaway, reveals they knew full well a PMB would let them exert “heavy influence” without the fingerprints showing. No consultation with MPs, unions, or the rank-and-file membership – just a sly nod to Esther Rantzen over the blower, and suddenly Leadbeater “wins” the ballot and picks this poison pill. Coincidence? My arse. This was engineered from the off, a Labour wet dream dressed up as backbench initiative.

And why the deceit? Don’t kid yourself it’s about compassion or dignity in death. This is fiscal vampirism, pure and simple. Labour’s bean-counters – those grey men in the Treasury who dream in spreadsheets – have long eyed the NHS’s £180 billion black hole and the state pension bill ballooning to £120 billion by 2030. Who’s the biggest drain? The old dears, bless ’em: 12 million over-65s sucking up £70 billion in health and social care alone, with winter fuel allowances tossed in like confetti at a funeral. Starmer’s mob genuinely wants to kill off the “burdensome” brigade – not with a bang, but with a quiet prescription for pentobarbital and a pat on the head. It’s eugenics lite, wrapped in the language of choice, designed to thin the herd and plug the fiscal gap. Every grey vote shuffled off this mortal coil saves a fortune in hip replacements and dementia wards. Compassion? It’s cost-cutting with a stethoscope.

This isn’t hyperbole; it’s the grotesque logic of a government that’s already slashed winter fuel for the vulnerable and eyed means-testing pensions like a fox in the henhouse. The leaked note doesn’t just expose the lie – it lays bare the motive. Starmer, the former Director of Public Prosecutions who once oversaw mercy killings on the margins, now plays puppet-master from Downing Street. Neutral? He’s as neutral as a shark in a goldfish bowl.

Of course, this is just the crown jewel in Starmer’s tiara of turds. Remember the £22 billion black hole that wasn’t? The winter fuel betrayal? The endless tax hikes dressed as “fairness”? Lies upon lies, each more threadbare than the last. But this? This is the most egregious, the one that chills the marrow because it’s not about wallets or waiting lists – it’s life and death. A matter of shuffling off the elderly to balance the books, all under the fig leaf of a free vote. When did Labour become the party that engineers quietus for the quietus-challenged? When did “for the many” become “fewer mouths to feed”?

The likes of Dame Meg Hillier are already spitting feathers, calling it a “shadow policymaking process” that evades scrutiny on an issue that could redefine mortality in Britain. And Leadbeater’s camp? They “categorically deny” chats with No. 10. Pull the other one, love – it’s got bells on. As the Lords filibuster with hundreds of amendments this Friday, the stink of this scandal will only grow. But don’t hold your breath for accountability; Starmer’s too busy practising his furrowed brow for the cameras.

So what now, you ask, as the chill wind of December whispers of hemlock on the breeze? Rage, my friends. Rage like Gran on her last legs, refusing the syringe. Demand a full inquiry into these leaks, flood your MP’s inbox with the fury of a thousand Zimmer frames. And when the next election rolls around – 2029, if they don’t rig the calendar – remember: Starmer’s not just a liar; he’s a life-taker in waiting.

In the grand theatre of Westminster, this is Act One of the great cull. Don’t let the curtain fall without a fight.

Yours in unassisted fury,

Ken Palarse

Essential reading for the resistance:

• The Right to Die? by Derek Humphry – the blueprint they’re bastardising
• Being Mortal by Atul Gawande – a humane counterpoint to Starmer’s spreadsheet slaughter
• The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch – because if you’re going to con the public, at least do it with flair

The Stasi Would Blush: How Your Labour Government is Hoovering Up Every Tweet, Post and Meme in the Name of “Fighting Misinformation”

Rejoice, citizens of this once-sceptred isle! Big Brother has finally gone official, dropped the pretence, and sent me a lovely letter on Cabinet Office letterhead admitting the bleeding obvious: the Government Communication Service is systematically collecting, storing, and AI-crunching every public social media post you’ve ever made. And yes, that includes your 3 a.m. rant about dinghies in the Channel, your meme of Suella Braverman riding a unicorn, and that time you called the Home Secretary a weapons-grade bellend.

Why are they doing it? To “address potential mis/disinformation”, naturally. Translation: to decide which opinions are allowed to exist in the public square and which must be quietly memory-holed before they upset the approved narrative. The fact that posts about migration are explicitly flagged for “wider thematic reporting” is pure coincidence, comrades. Nothing to see here, move along.

And the cherry on this dystopian cake? They’re packaging up the aggregated fruits of their trawl and shipping it off to “partner governments”. One can only imagine the scene in some windowless room in Langley or Brussels: a civil servant popping open a USB stick marked “British Peasants – Hot Takes 2025” while sipping a flat white and tutting at our collective impertinence.

This isn’t some tinfoil-hatted fantasy. This is the Cabinet Office, in black and white, admitting they’ve built the largest domestic surveillance net in British history and they’re running it through AI faster than you can say “Orwell was an optimist”.

But here’s the delicious part: they still have to pretend to obey the law. GDPR, that glorious European relic we apparently hate now, gives you a handful of rights even Starmer’s Stasi can’t ignore. You can:

• Object to them processing your data
• Demand to know exactly what they’ve hoovered up about you
• Force them to delete it if they no longer have a lawful reason to keep it
• Restrict processing while they squirm

And the beauty? They’ve given us the email address of the poor sod who has to deal with it:
dpo@cabinetoffice.gov.uk

I suggest you drop them a line.

Every single objection lands on a desk. Every request triggers mandatory logging, paperwork, and internal audits. A thousand polite emails become a headache. Ten thousand become a crisis. A hundred thousand become a scandal that even Laura Kuenssberg can’t ignore.

So do it. Do it today. Flood the inbox. Make them choke on their own red tape.

And when they write back with the usual mealy-mouthed guff about “legitimate public interest”, remember this: the East Germans used the exact same phrase.

Yours in glorious, unapproved defiance,

Ken Palarse

P.S. If you’re reading this on your phone while queueing for a coffee you can no longer afford, share it. Share it everywhere. Every retweet is a middle finger to the machine.

How to submit your objection in 30 seconds (copy, paste, send):

Subject: Formal GDPR Objection & Subject Access Request – Delete My Data

Dear Data Protection Officer,

Under Articles 15, 17, 18 and 21 GDPR I:

1. Formally object to any processing of my personal data collected from public social media posts.
2. Require you to provide a full copy of all personal data you hold on me, including any AI-generated profiles or risk scores.
3. Require you to erase all such data immediately as you have no lawful overriding interest that justifies mass surveillance of political speech.

Yours etc.

Amazon affiliate reads for the resistance (because even rebels pay the leccy):

• 1984 by George Orwell – still the blueprint they’re following
• The Gulag Archipelago (abridged) – for when they tell you it can’t happen here
• Live Not By Lies by Rod Dreher – a handbook for the digitally damned

Trial By Jury for Tulip, But Not For Thee or Me

 

It seems that dear old Lammy wants to end trial by jury, he has raised this again today as a means of deflecting from the row over Reeves and Starmer's market manipulation.

Anyhoo, by happenstance Tulip Siddiq (Starmer's ex corruption minister) has been found guilty by a Bangladeshi court of corruption.

How ironic!

The only problem being is that Tulip doesn't agree with the verdict, claiming that it was "farcical and flawed".

For why?

The verdict was decided upon by a judge, not a jury! 

Learn about the history of trial by jury here. 

Rachel Reeves and the Great £22 Billion Lie: How the Chancellor Became Britain’s Biggest Market Manipulator Since Maxwell

Gather round, comrades, for we are witnessing a scandal so brazen it makes the Expenses Duck House look like a Quaker prayer meeting. In the last 24 hours the Office for Budget Responsibility has quietly slipped out the documents that confirm what every half-sentient adult already suspected: Rachel Reeves has been lying – deliberately, repeatedly, and with the cold-eyed calculation of a City wide-boy cooking the books before a float.

Yes, that £22 billion “black hole” she brandished like Excalibur for the entire summer? Pure fiction. A mirage conjured in the Treasury’s smoke-filled rooms and obligingly leaked to friendly hacks at the FT and the BBC. The OBR’s latest release (paragraphs 4.12–4.18 if you’re feeling masochistic) makes it crystal clear: the previous government’s spending plans were already baked into the baseline, the fiscal headroom was there all along, and the terrifying shortfall existed only in the fevered imagination of a Chancellor who needed a pretext to break every promise she made in July.

This wasn’t incompetence. This was a co-ordinated deception. Treasury officials – under direct ministerial instruction – fed selective, misleading figures to the press for months. Bond traders sold gilts, mortgage rates spiked, pension funds took fright, and the pound wobbled like a drunk on a unicycle. In any other walk of life this would be called market manipulation. On Threadneedle Street they call it insider dealing and send you to Belmarsh for less. When the Chancellor of the Exchequer does it, apparently, they give you a standing ovation at the TUC conference.

Let that sink in. A Labour Chancellor – a Labour Chancellor! – weaponised fear of bankruptcy to soften up the electorate for tax rises she always intended to impose. The £40 billion raid on jobs, farms, pensions, and small businesses announced yesterday wasn’t “unavoidable”. It was premeditated. The black hole was the political equivalent of a dead cat on the table: something so shocking that nobody would dare ask why the rest of the banquet tasted of broken promises.

And the sheer brass-necked cheek of it! Standing at the dispatch box yesterday, hand on heart, Reeves still had the gall to claim she only discovered the “true state” of the books after entering office. The OBR has just handed us the receipts proving she knew – or her officials knew, which is the same thing in law – that the scare story was bollocks before the removal vans had even left Downing Street.

This is criminal. Not “ooh isn’t politics awful” criminal. Actual, prosecutable, Companies Act 2006 Section 89 “false or misleading statements inducing investment” criminal. The kind of thing that saw Asil Nadir doing bird and Robert Maxwell doing the backstroke off Tenerife. Except Maxwell never had the keys to the Treasury press office.

So what happens now? Sweet FA, of course. The Crown Prosecution Service won’t touch a sitting Chancellor with a ten-foot bargepole wrapped in parliamentary privilege. The FCA will mutter about “complex market dynamics” and look the other way. And Labour backbenchers who spent five years screaming about Tory sleaze will discover that principles are remarkably elastic when payroll vote is on the line.

But we don’t have to play along. We can remember. We can point, laugh, and never let the bastards forget that the woman currently lecturing us about “tough choices” spent the summer running the biggest con-trick in modern fiscal history.

And when your mortgage payment jumps next spring because the gilt markets were spooked by a lie, send Rachel the bill. She knows where to find the £22 billion she pretended had vanished. It was in her imagination all along.

Yours in perpetual fury,
 

Ken Palarse

Recommended reading :

• Liar’s Poker by Michael Lewis – still the best primer on how markets get played
• The Big Short by Michael Lewis – essential viewing for anyone who thinks governments don’t rig the game
• Bad Blood by John Carreyrou – because Theranos was amateur hour compared to this