The PalArse of Westminster


Exposing the hypocrisy, greed and incompetence of our "respected" elected political "elite".

Monday, 16 September 2019

Liberal Democrats Go Batshit Crazy

The Liberal Democrats appear to have gone batshit crazy, not only do they intend to overturn the result of the referendum they whole heartedly endorse Verhofstadt's barking mad empire building speech!

Friday, 13 September 2019

Utterly Pathetic!

Thursday, 12 September 2019

The "Coup" That Never Was - Geoff Norcott Nails It!

Newsnight Gives a Moron Airtime

Wednesday, 11 September 2019

Court Of Session Rules Prorogation Unlawful

Ignoring whatever the Supreme Court does next week, an appeal has been lodged.

By the time this is sorted out, the Queen will be making her speech anyway!

Boris Conducts Masterclass In Manspreading

Monday, 9 September 2019

Parliament Packs Up For Five Weeks

Friday, 6 September 2019

Corbyn Speaks The Truth

Fair enough, and Corbyn should know what he is talking about because he is estimated to be worth around £3M.

Thursday, 5 September 2019

The "Coup" That Never Was - Labour Blocks Election

Wednesday, 4 September 2019

Rees-Mogg Makes Guest Appearance on The Simpsons

The "Coup" That Never Was - Boris To Call An Election

There has been much frothing of the mouth and general hysteria, both in cyberspace and in real life, about the recent prorogation of Parliament. Certain people, who should know better, would have us believe it was a coup.

Anyhoo, disregarding that hysterical nonsense, Boris has now shot that fox by stating the he will be tabling a motion today to call a general election.

Factoid: it can't be a coup if a general election takes place!

One amusing irony is that Corbyn (who called people to take to the streets to protest against the "coup") is now balking at the thought of a general election; and insists that legislation is first passed to guarantee that a no deal Brexit is blocked, before he will back an election.

Tuesday, 3 September 2019

Lee's Theatrical Defection

Irony Klaxon - "Democracy" Blocks Election

Farewell Sir Nicholas?

Monday, 2 September 2019

General Election Coming

My spidey sense tells me that a general election is in the offing.

The question is, will it be held before or after 31 October?

Wednesday, 28 August 2019

The Queen's Speech October 14 - Well Then!

Nothing unusual here, except that in order for the Queen's Speech (ie the opening of a new parliament) to be held, the current parliament must be prorogued.

By happenstance, this gives the Brexit "rebel alliance" little time for mischief making.

I predict a wee bit of a row over this :) 

Wednesday, 21 August 2019

Bloody Hell!

Thursday, 15 August 2019

Corbyn Applies For The Job of PM

Does he not understand that if he wins a vote of no confidence, Boris doesn't have to resign as PM and can call an election on his terms?

Another small point, there is no way even the most rebellious Tory rebels will side with him if he insists on being leader.

A cynic might suggest that Corbyn is deliberately ensuring that we leave with no deal.

Wednesday, 14 August 2019

LibLab Pact Sans Corbyn?

But what will Jeremy say????????????

Tuesday, 13 August 2019

The Queen Is Right - The Political Class Has Failed

Hardly an effective political counterargument against Boris's policies!

Monday, 12 August 2019

Lucas Is Delusional

This is of course delusional nonsense. 

Any vote of no confidence can be ignored by the PM, as he doesn't have to resign. He can then call a general election after 31 October, or indeed before, as Brexit is set to happen without the further approval of parliament. 

Ironically, had these idiots voted for May's deal they wouldn't be facing this now. 

Parliament brought this upon itself!

Hammond Loses His Honour

Thursday, 8 August 2019

Labour Membership Falls

Whilst the membership has fallen, Labour still has a very large membership.

Wednesday, 7 August 2019

Sturgeon Nails It!

Friday, 2 August 2019

Brecon By-election

A far better showing by the Tories than expected, given they let their disgraced former MP stand again for the seat (in the sure expectation he would lose).

Tuesday, 30 July 2019

Campbell Nukes Corbyn

Alistair Campbell, the former No 10 director of communications under Tony Blair, has said he no longer wishes to be a Labour member, warning that Jeremy Corbyn is poised to lose the next election against Boris Johnson and destroy the party “as a political force capable of winning power”.

In a letter to Corbyn, quoted by the Guardian, he said:
The culture you have helped to create has made the party one that I feel no longer truly represents my values, or the hopes I have for Britain.

I see no strategy in place that remotely meets the electoral or policy challenges ahead. On the contrary, in so far as I ascertain a strategy at all, it is one that looks more designed to lose. I fear the country may already have decided that it does not intend to make you prime minister.”
This is designed to push Labour to realise that it must ditch Corbyn for its sake, and the sake of the country. All very well and good. However, as long as the infection known as Momentum holds sway Corbyn will not be moved.

Monday, 29 July 2019

Is Boris Trying To Emulate Prince Hal?

I know you all, and will awhile uphold
The unyoked humour of your idleness.
Yet herein will I imitate the sun,
Who doth permit the base contagious clouds
To smother up his beauty from the world,
That when he please again to be himself,
Being wanted, he may be more wondered at
By breaking through the foul and ugly mists
Of vapours that did seem to strangle him.
If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work;
But when they seldom come, they wished-for come,
And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
So, when this loose behaviour I throw off
And pay the debt I never promisèd,
By how much better than my word I am,
By so much shall I falsify men’s hopes;
And like bright metal on a sullen ground,
My reformation, glitt’ring o’er my fault,
Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
I’ll so offend to make offence a skill,
Redeeming time when men think least I will.

Anti Leak Directive Leaked

Thursday, 25 July 2019

Has Boris Inhaled His Own Legend?

It is for sure that Boris, in many quarters, is starting from a very low expectation base.

Whilst he can talk the talk, let us see if he can also walk the walk!

Wednesday, 24 July 2019

Corbyn To Propose Motion of No Confidence After Brexit

Hunt on The Brink

Tuesday, 23 July 2019

Boris's Kingdom of Dust

As Boris waits in the wings on the cusp of being crowned king of the Tories and PM, his enemies are waiting to pounce, indeed one (Duncan) tried a pounce yesterday but was rebuffed by The Speaker who pointed out it was for the opposition to call for votes of no confidence, not MPs in the same party!

Thus Boris's enemies are not facing him on the benches opposite, but will be sitting behind him.

Where does this leave Boris and the country?

We will face a general election before October, as his own party will conspire to bring him down.

David Gauke Joins The LibDems

Monday, 22 July 2019

Rats Abandon Ship

In order to avoid being fired, a swath of minister will resign before Boris is crowned king of the Tories. 

Then off to oblivion for them!

Boris's honeymoon period ends before it begins.

Friday, 19 July 2019

Boris Looking For Protection

Thursday, 18 July 2019

Tories Queuing Up To Help Hammond Move Out

He won't be missed!

Friday, 12 July 2019

Boris Wins 12 Days Early

IF the polls are accurate, and it's a big IF, then Boris has won.

Thursday, 11 July 2019

Westminster's Bullying Culture

As per the report into bullying and harassment of MP's parliamentary staff by Gemma White QC:
"Some staff of Members of Parliament are subject to an unacceptable risk of bullying and harassment, including sexual harassment, at work. Most Members of Parliament treat their staff with dignity and respect but the problem of bullying and harassment is sufficiently widespread to require an urgent collective response."

“I just want to say that during my over-30-years’ association with the Houses of Parliament I did not encounter anything remotely like bullying and harassment on anyone’s part and have been very surprised to know it has happened.The MP I worked for I found extremely efficient, clever and a good employer in every way.”

#CableGate - Kim Resigns, Boris Blamed and May Seeks To Poison The Well

Well it was all go yesterday Kim Darroch resigned and the media (as is their style) decided it was all Boris's fault.

Well whilst he didn't exactly give fulsome backing to Darroch, Darroch's position was untenable given that Trump had banned him from all future functions. My advice to the media is that whilst it is clear most of you loath Boris, you really ought to try grasp the fact that the enemy in this particular case is not Boris but the person who leaked the cables.

In the meantime, never one to miss an opportunity to poison the well it seems that Theresa May is seeking to appoint Darroch's successor!

Wednesday, 10 July 2019

#CableGate - Prime Suspects

In no particular order:

1 Trump

2 Darroch

3 May

4 Putin

John Major Threatens To Take Boris To Court

The land of hypotheticals knows no bounds!

Tuesday, 9 July 2019

Trump Severs Diplomatic Relations With Britain - #CableGate

In a busy couple of Tweets, responding to #CableGate, President Trump lambasted Theresa May and her handling of Brexit and then for good measure severed diplomatic relations with Britain....and it was only Monday!

I wonder what the rest of the week holds for us?

Wrt #CableGate the government is now looking at a hostile foreign power as being the cause of the leak, maybe so, or maybe look to the the list of other suspects I compiled yesterday (including Trump himself)!

The media is now asking how a future Prime Minister should handle Trump. The answer is simple, apply the Disraeli technique he used with royalty, namely applying flattery with a trowel. It works for Kim Jong-un, it most certainly should work for Boris! 

Monday, 8 July 2019

The Ambassador's Cables - #CableGate

Sir Kim Darroch's secret cables to the Foreign Office, giving his views of the Trump administration, have been leaked en masse to a tabloid.

The contents of the cables are perfectly acceptable, as ambassadors are meant to report their views and opinions. However, what is not acceptable is the fact that these secret communications have leaked.

The questions are as follows:

1 Who leaked them?

2 Why are they leaked now?

3 What game is being played here?

The theories:

1 Trump leaked in order to remove Durroch and replace him with Farage.

2 A supporter of Farage in the FO leaked them, for the reason above.

3 Number 10 leaked them, in order to conduct a scorched earth policy and wreck any chances of the USA helping Britain with a fast track no deal Brexit trade agreement.

4 A foreign agency leaked them, just for fun.

5 Boris or an associate leaked them, in order to pave the way for Farage to be ambassador and seal an deal with the Brexit Party.

Anyone have any other theories?

Friday, 5 July 2019

The Intelligence Men Blocked Boris

Another example of the control freakery of the current occupant of No 10!

Thursday, 4 July 2019


The Boris Effect Boosts Tories

Wednesday, 3 July 2019

MPs Really Can Be Thick!

Tuesday, 2 July 2019

Boris To Cut Cabinet by Half?

I wonder how true this is?

Friday, 28 June 2019

Putin The Boot In

Thursday, 27 June 2019

Carole Might Be Right..For Once!

Wednesday, 26 June 2019

Media Plumbs New Depths of Stupidity - #SockGate

Tuesday, 25 June 2019

Boris Live on LBC - Someone Tell Hunt!

Contrary to what Hunt says, Boris is not hiding from media questions.

Ironically, all that seems to interest LBC is the provenance of a photo of Boris and Carrie sitting in a garden!

Methinks Max Speaks With Forked Tongue

Monday, 24 June 2019

A Policeman Permanently On The Door

If Boris wins, he and Carrie will reside in Number 10.

Doubtless this will be a massive relief to Carrie's "concerned" neighbours, as there will be a policeman on the door 24/7; no need to send any more recordings to the Guardian! 

Friday, 21 June 2019

Boris vs Hunt

If Hunt has any sense, he will spend this weekend thinking about what the country needs (leadership now!), and announce on Monday that following a period of reflection he will step aside and let Boris lead the country immediately (rather than waste a month waiting for the membership to rubber stamp Boris).

This will afford Hunt the added bonus of remaining as Foreign Secretary, and keeping his grace and favour home Chevening House.

Thursday, 20 June 2019

Hammond's Resignation Speech

Good riddance!

Wednesday, 19 June 2019

Un Cri de Cœur

The BBC Really Fucked Up The Leadership Debate

The Farce Continues

This really needs to be sorted out now, not in a month's time!

Tuesday, 18 June 2019

Shenanigans Galore In The Tory Leadership Contest

The next round of voting is tonight, and team Boris appear keen to make sure that Rory is knocked out.

Whatever the result for Rory, I trust and assume that the Tory Party understands that it needs people like Rory to maintain/rekindle its broad church appeal. Therefore when this excessively lengthy farce of a contest is over, the new Prime Minister should award Rory a Cabinet position.

Monday, 17 June 2019

The Media and Boris

I'm beginning to think that some of the media don't like Boris!


Should have thought that through a little more!

Thursday, 13 June 2019

First Ballot Results Expected at 13:00 Today

Why Was Saj Off The Guest List?

Wednesday, 12 June 2019

The Whips Are Out

Boris Officially Launches His Campaign Today

Boris has of course been running his campaign for years!

Tuesday, 11 June 2019

Tory Leadership Candidates as Doctor Who Monsters

The Government's Deft Sleight of Hand

In a move that would grace any star studded magic show, the government stopped funding the BBC £700M for the free licences for the the over 75's and told the BBC it had the power to stop giving away free licences.

When the BBC did just that, the government blamed the BBC.

Class act!

Monday, 10 June 2019

Prime Minister Gove Addresses The Nation in 2020

"I am sorry that I initially lied about taking drugs.

That was wrong of me.

I am sorry that my education department, in 2014, passed a code of conduct that disqualified teachers convicted of possessing class A drugs.

That was wrong and hypocritical.

I am sorry that as an MP and minister I stood behind a law that criminalised drugs and those (who are not MPs, journalists or celebrities) from using them.

That was clearly wrong and hypocritical.

I am sorry that MPs, journalists and celebrities are allowed to get away with behaviour that the rest of you aren't.

That is wrong!

As such my government will be ending the hypocrisy and waste of resources wrt our hypocritical drugs laws, and passing legalisation that will:

- decriminalise drug use,
- promote better education of the consequences,
- enable those with drug problems to seek help without being stigmatised
- and end the "magic money tree" of supplying illegal drugs that feeds/enables the criminal underclass and destroys the lives of so many. 

We will legalise drugs."

That speech will never happen:

1 Gove will never have the guts to make it,

2 Gove will most likely pull his leadership bid today.

Friday, 7 June 2019

Labour Holds Peterborough By The Skin of Its Teeth

The postal vote percentage was 69.4% postal turnout.

Thursday, 6 June 2019

Raab Uses The "P" Word

Tuesday, 4 June 2019

Corbyn Plays The Fool

Jeremy Corbyn today will lead and speak at a demonstration against Donald Trump.

All very well and democratic, if you are in student politics or a junior backbencher. However, Corbyn is a salaried leader of Her Majesy's Opposition with ambitions to become Prime Minister.

Like it or not Trump was democratically elected by members of the public of our closest ally.

Suck it up Corbyn if you want an adult job, you have to behave like an adult!

The Queen Gets It!

Monday, 3 June 2019

Widders Joins Twitter

Sadiq the Terrible!

Friday, 31 May 2019

The Tory Leadership Candidates

Image result for chartered accountant
Mark Harper
Image result for question mark
Matt Hancock
Image result for danger mouse
Michael Gove

Image result for dulux dog
Boris Johnson
James Cleverly
Image result for lady penelope
Esther McVey
Image result for snow white magic mirror
Rory Stewart
Image result for jeremy hunt look alike
Jeremy Hunt
Image result for dominic raab
Dominic Raab
Image result for andrea leadsom cartoon
Andrea Leadsom
Image result for peter griffin
Kit Matlhouse
Image result for the hood thunderbirds
Sajid Javid