The PalArse of Westminster


Exposing the hypocrisy, greed and incompetence of our "respected" elected political "elite".

Monday, 15 December 2014

Politicians Really Are Such "Lovely" People

Monday, 8 December 2014

They Work For You!

Friday, 28 November 2014

Question For David Cameron Re EU Migration

Will you be forcibly repatriating all the Brits who have moved to Spain, France etc etc?

Thursday, 20 November 2014

Rochester and Strood

My commiserations to the good people of Rochester and Strood who have, over the past few weeks, had to endure a slurry of politicians bothering them as they go about their daily lives.

Fortunately, once today is over, the politicians will ignore you again; as is the case with all voters!

Thursday, 13 November 2014

Ed Miliband Gazes Into His Mirror

Seemingly Ed Miliband has looked into his mirror, and sees a future Prime Minister staring back at him.

I have some bad news for you Ed, it wasn't a mirror you were looking at, it was your brother!

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Don't Bash Blair

Tony Blair has said that it's not his job to rescue the Labour Party.

Fair play to him, he has enough to do what with managing his family's property empire which currently stands at 31 properties.

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

EU Arrest Warrant Vote

Q: When is a promise not a promise?

A: When it is made by the government.

Thursday, 6 November 2014

Socialism - The Path To Prosperity

For many years it has been widely assumed that socialism leads to economic chaos and poverty.

However, this appears not to be the case at all. It transpires that leading socialists Tony and Cherie Blair now own 31 properties. Thus proving that socialism is in fact the path to prosperity!

Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Clegg's Failure of Leadership and Judgement

Clegg claims he wouldn't have worn the feminist T shirt had he known that it was made under sweatshop conditions.

Yet he was happy enough to wear it when he knew it was marketing stunt by Elle!

Monday, 3 November 2014

The Pigs Win - Expense Records Destroyed

In a display of arrogance and disdain for the voters, Bercow's office has destroyed paperwork relating to MPs' expense claims made before 2010. The excuse being that the destruction was necessary to comply with data protection laws.

Unsurprisingly, this means that those MPs accused of abusing the expenses system will escape official investigation.

How "ironic"!

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Advice To UKIP

It's easy being the unwanted party gate crasher, but not so easy staying the night and trying to host the party yourself.

Monday, 29 September 2014

Party Conferences

Aside from the media and political activists, no one gives a fark about what happens at party conferences let alone will remember them by the time the May 2015 election comes round.

Politicians who think that people do take an interest should get their heads out of their arses!

Thursday, 25 September 2014

Advice To Ed Miliband

The next time you open your mouth in front of an audience, use a script.

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Advice To David Cameron

Treat all microphones as live, even those that seem so far away.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Advice To Politicians

Don't lecture us on the "evils" of tax avoidance (a perfectly legal practice), when you are doing everything you can to avoid taxes on your income!

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Question For Cameron

Why did you grant a referendum to Scotland, and put Salmond in a position whereby he is about to destroy the Union?

Sunday, 7 September 2014


Marcial Boo, the chief executive of the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (Ipsa), believes that MPs do an important job and should not be paid “a miserly amount” for their services. Indeed, an MPs salary of £67K is way below that of Mr Boo's (who earns £120K).

As such he has authoried a pay rise of around 10%, effective from next May.

Whilst this may be all very well in Mr Boo's well paid bubble universe, in reality it simply cannot stand; lest there be an outpouring of anger from the taxpayers and voters, who are constantly being told by the government to tighten their belts.

Mr Boo will find himself abolished before his recommendation comes to fruition.

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Monday, 18 August 2014

Family Guy

David Cameron

Cameron re-brands himself as Family Guy.

Let's see how that works out for him then!

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Swineshead Simmonds

Mark Simmonds, the foreign office minister who resigned from the Government after claiming his expenses were too meagre, used the profit from the sale of his taxpayer funded home to buy a £1 million former abbey in his constituency.

Simmonds sold his home in Putney, South London, for £1.2 million in 2010, making a profit of more than £500,000.

He used his expenses to claim the mortgage interest payments on the property for almost the entire time he owned it.

He and his wife then bought Swineshead Abbey in Lincolnshire for £900,000, a Grade II listed 17th century building with seven bedrooms, stables, a heated outdoor swimming pool, a tennis court and 15 acres of parkland.


Having made a nice little pile from being an MP Swineshead Simmonds can now turn his attention to making even more money in the real world.

Class act!

Thursday, 7 August 2014

Clegg Is A Pillock

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Cameron Beware, Boris Is Returning

Friday, 18 July 2014

Advice To Michael Gove

Learn how to go to the toilet before you start whipping people for their own particular foibles.

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Cabinet Reshuffle

The window dressing of the Cabinet is underway, just in time for next year's election.

Various old faces are out eg Ken Clarke and William Hague (who steps down from Parliament in 2015).

However, despite the window dressing, nothing significant will happen wrt government policy in the run up to the election.

Friday, 20 June 2014


Thursday, 24 April 2014

Advice To The Labour Party

When shifting your debt from an institution you no longer want to be associated with, make sure that the institution into which you place your debt is not in fact owned by the one from which you wished to disassociate yourself.

I give you Unitytrust bank.

Wednesday, 9 April 2014

The "Distraction" of Millergate

Maria Miller has finally resigned her office, on the basis that the affair is proving to be a distraction to the work of her party.

All very well and dandy, as far as that goes. However, she and some in her party have not learned the fundamental lesson from this. Irrespective of whether she really believes that it was OK to only repay £5,800 out of the £45,000 that the independent parliamentary commissioner for standards had previously recommended, the voters do not think that this was right.

Like it or not MPs cannot be seen to be milking taxpayers' money for their own personal benefit.

Public service means just that, the role is for the benefit of the "public" not for the MP's personal gain.

The fact that neither she nor her leader seems to have got that point yet indicates a vast disconnect between some of those in Westminster and the voters.

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

I Am The Law!

IDS lays down the law to Maria Miller....ermmm, no, not quite!
"People who do the wrong thing will see the consequences for that action, and that is a principle should apply to everybody". 
(Source ITV News)

Monday, 7 April 2014


I thought Cameron and the government was against tax avoidance these days?

It seems, based on Millergate, that I was wrong!

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Advice To Nigel Farage

Don't boast about "harvesting" votes from the BNP. Having a core base of bigots in a political party is nothing to be proud of.

Monday, 24 March 2014

Brighton Welcomes David Cameron

David Cameron is in Brighton today.

I wonder if he will visit the Marina and enter via the "elegant and welcoming" pedestrian entrance?

No, I thought not!

Friday, 14 March 2014

Advice To Clegg and Miliband

Gentlemen re voters accepting a gay PM, I think you will find that ship may have already sailed. Scuttlebutt on the net indicates that we may have had at least one gay PM already.

As if it really matters anyway what an individual's orientation is, you shouldn't make a political issue out of it!

Friday, 28 February 2014

Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Crackerjack! - Easy Money

Paddy Power is offering 3/1 on the word "Crackerjack" being used during today's Prime Minister's Questions.

For why?

Speaker Bercow has been outed as appearing on the programme when he was 12.