The Treasury's grand plan to solve all our domestic woes with a sprinkle of magic migration dust has spectacularly failed and, most likely, wrecked the country.
The Treasury saw a dip in the birth rate, a shortage of nurses, and a public sector groaning like a wheezing bulldog, and their answer was?
More people!
Crack open the borders, let the world come flooding in, and bingo – problem solved.
The problem is this isn't Monopoly money we're talking about, it's real lives. Migration is a complex tapestry, woven with threads of opportunity, hardship, integration, and friction. You can't just stick a "Buy One, Get One Free" sticker on it and expect a rosy utopia.
Firstly, the Treasury seem to think immigrants are walking cash machines. They point at Germany and their shiny GDP, whisper "migrant workers, darling!" and picture us all sipping champagne in our Brexit-land paradise.
However, they forget about the strain on housing, the pressure on public services, the cultural clashes which are destroying the fabric of our country. Integration takes time, money, and a whole lot of empathy, things the Treasury often forgets to budget for.
Secondly, these bean counters think they can dial up migration like a thermostat. Need more doctors? Open the floodgates for medical students! Shortage of fruit pickers? Let's tango with the seasonal workers! But people aren't robots, they're individuals with dreams, families, and roots. You can't just pluck them from their homes and slot them into our economic puzzle like Tetris blocks.
Finally let's not forget the social fabric. Immigration can be a beautiful tapestry, but it can also fray and tear. When communities feel overwhelmed, when wages get squeezed, when cultural differences become battle lines, the whole thing can unravel faster than a Marks & Spencer jumper in the tumble dryer.
So, the Treasury's migration mirage has shimmered and faded. It promised a land of milk and honey, but delivered a reality of overcrowded buses, stretched resources, and simmering tensions. It's time for these number-crunchers to ditch their spreadsheets and take a walk in the real world. Talk to the communities feeling the pressure, listen to the concerns of ordinary people, and understand that migration isn't a quick fix, it's a long-term dance that needs careful steps, not reckless waltzing.