In a plot twist that could only be scripted by the gods of political farce, Zarah Sultana and Jeremy Corbyn, the dynamic duo of hard-left heroics, have managed to form a new political party and promptly fall out faster than you can say "socialism or barbarism." The as-yet-unnamed party—rumoured to be tossing around names like "Real Change," "Peace and Justice Project," or perhaps "The People’s Glastonbury"—lasted roughly 60 minutes before descending into the kind of factionalism that would make a Monty Python sketch blush. Here’s how the revolution imploded before it could even print its first pamphlet.
On Thursday evening, Zarah Sultana, the firebrand MP for Coventry South, took to X with the fervour of a revolutionary poet, declaring she was resigning from the Labour Party after 14 years to co-lead a new left-wing utopia with her comrade-in-arms, Jeremy Corbyn. “Westminster is broken,” she thundered, “and the two-party system offers nothing but managed decline and broken promises.” With a flourish, she announced that she and Corbyn, alongside a ragtag band of independent MPs, campaigners, and activists, would forge a new path to challenge the billionaire-backed status quo. The rallying cry was bold: “In 2029, the choice will be stark: socialism or barbarism.” Stirring stuff, indeed—until it all unravelled faster than a poorly knit red scarf.
Mere minutes after Sultana’s grandiose proclamation, whispers began to circulate that Corbyn, the bearded sage of Islington North, was not quite on board with this impromptu launch. According to reports, the former Labour leader was “furious and bewildered” at being blindsided by his supposed co-leader. Sources close to Corbyn—presumably sipping herbal tea in a north London allotment—revealed he hadn’t even agreed to join the party, let alone co-lead it. The Sunday Times’ Gabriel Pogrund reported that Corbyn was less than thrilled about Sultana’s unilateral declaration, with some in his Independent Alliance describing it as “premature and potentially counterproductive.” In other words, the revolution hadn’t even started before the comrades were bickering over who got to hold the megaphone.
The comedy of errors didn’t stop there. While Sultana was busy rallying her 14,000+ online sign-ups with visions of dismantling capitalism, Corbyn was apparently still mulling over whether he even wanted to be the figurehead of this new venture. Having spent months carefully nurturing his Independent Alliance—a loose coalition of pro-Palestinian MPs who beat Labour in last year’s election—he wasn’t keen on rushing into a formal party structure, especially one announced without his say-so. His preference for collective decision-making, a hallmark of his leadership style, clashed spectacularly with Sultana’s bold solo act. It’s as if she declared herself co-captain of the ship while Corbyn was still deciding whether to board.
X users, ever the Greek chorus of modern politics, wasted no time piling on. One post gleefully noted, “The new Corbyn and Sultana party appears to have lasted about 90 minutes before descending into factionalism and division.” Another quipped, “It’s genuinely funny that the Sultana-Corbyn party had a split literally within an hour of being launched. Stereotypes are usually stereotypes for a reason.” Even Nigel Farage, never one to miss a chance to stir the pot, jabbed: “If you thought Keir Starmer was having a bad week, it just got a whole lot worse.” The schadenfreude was palpable, as the hard-left’s latest attempt at unity crumbled like a stale scone.
The irony is thicker than a Corbynista manifesto. Sultana, suspended from Labour for her principled stand against the two-child benefit cap, positioned herself as the voice of the disenfranchised, accusing Starmer’s government of being “an active participant in genocide” in Gaza and failing to tackle poverty. Corbyn, meanwhile, has been dropping cryptic hints about a new party for months, telling ITV’s Peston there was a “thirst for an alternative” and that a “grouping will come together.” Yet when push came to shove, it seems Sultana’s enthusiasm outran Corbyn’s caution, leaving the duo in a public spat before their party could even settle on a logo.
This isn’t the first time the hard-left has tripped over its own ideals. The Labour Party itself has a storied history of splintering under the weight of ideological purity—think of the SDP in the 1980s or, more recently, the pro-Gaza independents who siphoned votes from Labour in 2024. Polls suggest a Corbyn-led party could snag 10% of the vote, enough to dent Labour’s prospects and hand Nigel Farage’s Reform UK a gleeful advantage. But if Sultana and Corbyn can’t even agree on who’s leading their revolution, it’s hard to see them troubling Starmer’s sleep.
As the dust settles on this one-hour wonder, one can’t help but marvel at the sheer audacity of it all. Sultana’s vision of a new socialist dawn was bold, passionate, and—let’s be honest—doomed from the start. Corbyn, ever the reluctant messiah, seems to have been dragged into the spotlight only to recoil at the chaos. Together, they’ve given us a masterclass in how to launch a political party and dismantle it before the ink dries on the press release. Somewhere, Keir Starmer is probably chuckling into his morning coffee, while the rest of us are left wondering: will the next left-wing rebellion last long enough to make it to lunch?
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