Oh, what fresh hell is this, comrades? Gather round the flickering screen of fiscal outrage, for Lord Richard Hermer – that silk-robed serpent slithering through the corridors of power – has been caught with his hand in the taxpayer’s till, engineering a “substantial” payout to none other than Abu Zubaydah, the Guantanamo Bay poster boy for al-Qaeda’s greatest hits. Yes, the very chap the CIA waterboarded 83 times, accused of running terrorist training camps in Afghanistan, and acting as Osama bin Laden’s personal concierge for jihadist plots. And now, courtesy of Hermer’s pre-government lawyering and his current perch as Attorney General, this “forever prisoner” is laughing all the way to the bank with British dosh. It’s not just a scandal; it’s a slap in the face to every squaddie who bled in the War on Terror.
Let’s not sugarcoat it: Hermer was Zubaydah’s barrister before Starmer handed him the keys to the kingdom in July 2024. He led the charge against the UK government, suing the Foreign Office for alleged complicity in the Yank’s torture regime – a case that dragged on for years, painting MI6 as the villains while Zubaydah played the victim. The Tories fought it tooth and nail, but lo and behold, under Labour’s watch, the whole thing folds like a cheap suit. A “substantial” out-of-court settlement – we’re talking millions, folks – lands in Zubaydah’s lap, with Hermer now sitting pretty as the chief legal adviser who could have stopped it but didn’t. Robert Jenrick nailed it: this is a payout “engineered” by the claimant’s former counsel, now the bloke signing the cheque from Cabinet. Conflict of interest? It’s a bloody conspiracy of convenience.
And why, pray tell, is Hermer always – always – on the side of Britain’s enemies? This isn’t his first rodeo with the rogue’s gallery. He represented Rangzieb Ahmed, the convicted terrorist who tried to sue us for his Pakistani torture holiday. He fought for Mustafa al-Hawsawi, the Saudi al-Qaeda financier behind 9/11 logistics. He even tried to block the deportation of Abid Naseer, the al-Qaeda plotter eyeing up shopping centres for his bomb fantasies. Hermer’s CV reads like a who’s who of Whitehall’s worst nightmares: Guantanamo detainees, IRA sympathisers, grooming gang appeals – if there’s a case against the Crown, he’s there with bells on, billing by the hour. Is it principle? Or just a pathological urge to stick it to the establishment that now employs him? One thing’s clear: this man has made a career out of championing the very threats we spent blood and treasure fighting. Britain’s enemies must raise a toast every time his name pops up.
So why the devil is he still in government? Starmer could have picked any silk-suited drone for Attorney General, but no – he taps Hermer, his old chambers chum from Doughty Street, the human rights hotbed that’s more Amnesty International than Admiralty. It’s an unhealthy loyalty that reeks of cronyism: Starmer, the ex-DPP who once defended IRA types himself, sees a kindred spirit in Hermer’s anti-establishment shtick. But at what cost? While pensioners freeze and the NHS queues stretch to infinity, we’re forking out millions to a bloke the Yanks called a “high-value detainee.” Starmer’s blind faith in his mate has turned the Treasury into a terrorist tip jar. Resign? Hermer should be drummed out with a dishonourable discharge, and Starmer grilled on why he’s so wedded to a lawyer who’s spent decades undermining the very state he now advises.
This isn’t just bad optics; it’s a betrayal of every principle Labour pretends to hold. When did “for the many” become “funds for the fanatics”? The Tories are right to howl – this is a “disgraceful capitulation” that sticks two fingers up to victims of terror while rewarding their enablers.
So what now, as the January sleet lashes the windows and the headlines fade? Demand answers, you lot. Bombard your MP, flood the airwaves, make Hermer’s name synonymous with sell-out. Because if this quisling stays in post, it’s open season on Britain’s backbone – and Starmer’s loyalty will be the noose around our necks.
Yours in unbridled contempt,
Ken Palarse
P.S. If this has your blood boiling hotter than a midwinter fuel poverty heater, share it wide. Every retweet keeps the pressure on these charlatans.
Essential reads to fuel the fury:
- Guantanamo Diary by Mohamedou Ould Slahi – for the detainee’s side, if you can stomach it
- The Looming Tower by Lawrence Wright – the real story of al-Qaeda’s rise
- Betrayal: The Crisis in the Catholic Church – wait, wrong one; better: The Enemy Within by some counter-terror bod – for how we let them in
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