Jeremy Corbyn, worried about the inflammatory effect that the exposed table and chair legs have on men, will (one he is crowned Prime Minister) enact legislation that makes it mandatory for table and chair legs to be covered up with a thick velvet cloth.
Proving to all of those that doubted him that he is not a throw back to old Labour socialism of the 1970's, but in fact is a man with strongly held Victorian values a true conservative of the old school!
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