Things Can Only Get Worse! - The Lyrics

 

Back in 1997 Tony Blair was elected on a wave of popularity and optimism that things could only get better (there was even a song to go with it!).

Now Starmer, riding on a crest of disillusion and disappointment, has stated that "things can only get worse".

Here are the suggested lyrics for a song that matches the mood of the nation:

Sing it to the tune of "Things Can Only Get Better." 🎵


(Verse 1)
In Downing Street, Sir Keir takes the stand,
A leader lost in quicksand, sinking in the sand.
"We've inherited a mess," he proclaims,
But where's the vision? Where's the flame?

(Pre-Chorus)
"Things are worse than we ever knew," he sighs,
Yet his policies lack substance, like empty skies.
Choices aplenty, but no compass to guide,
Keir's promises unravel, swept away by the tide.

(Chorus)
Things can only get worse, he chants,
Austerity masked as progress, a hollow dance.
The rot persists, entrenched in the core,
Keir's leadership? A riddle, nothing more.

(Verse 2)
Populism's ghost still haunts our streets,
And Keir? Well, he's busy with PowerPoint sheets.
In 2011, riots burned our towns,
Now he's rearranging deck chairs, wearing a frown.

(Bridge)
Emergency measures, prisons overflow,
Yet Keir's speeches echo, a tepid echo.
He'll fix what's broken, or so he claims,
But where's the fire? Where's the flames?

(Chorus)
Things can only get worse, he sings,
Austerity's grip tightens, clipped wings.
The rot runs deep, and we're left to cope,
Keir's legacy? A slippery slope.

(Outro)
So let's face the truth, call out the game,
Keir's ship adrift, lost in political shame.
Things can only get worse, that much is clear,
But perhaps it's time for a leader who's sincere. 🌟