Springtime For Reeves - A Cheerful Little Song

 

To be sung to the tune of Springtime For Hitler

[Intro: Sung by a faux-cheerful chorus]
Britain was in trouble, what a sad, sad tale,
Needed a new chancellor to fix the fiscal scale.
Where, oh, where was she? Who’d take the reins with glee?
We looked around, and then we found,
The one to cut with certainty!

 

[Lead Singer (Rachel Reeves character)]
And now it’s…
Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
Britain’s on a tighter leash today!
Welfare’s getting slashed again,
Disabled funds are trashed again!

Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
Budgets are my grand design, you see!
Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
Watch out, worse is yet to be! 

 

[Chorus]
The Treasury was a mess, oh what a sorry sight,
Rachel took the helm to set the numbers “right.”
Where, oh, where was hope? Where could compassion be?
She balanced books, gave us dirty looks,
And blamed it all on her decree! 

 

[Lead Singer]
And now it’s…
Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
PIP and UC fade away!
Cuts falling from the skies again,
The vulnerable cry again!

Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
My budget’s why we’re here, oh yes!
Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
Means that soon you’ll feel the stress! 

 

[Tap-Dance Break]
I was born in Leeds, and that’s why I’m so shrewd,
Don’t be daft, join my craft—cut the weak, it’s not so rude!

 

[Chorus]
Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
Fiscal rules are my new game to play!
Disabled left in dire straits again,
Her budget’s who we blame again!

Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
Savings fall short, yet I don’t care!
Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
Worse is coming—beware, beware! 

 

[Finale: Slow, ominous reprise]
Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
Winter for the sick and poor, alas!
Springtime for Reeves and austerity,
Come on, Britain, feel my fiscal blast!