The Stasi Would Blush: How Your Labour Government is Hoovering Up Every Tweet, Post and Meme in the Name of “Fighting Misinformation”

Rejoice, citizens of this once-sceptred isle! Big Brother has finally gone official, dropped the pretence, and sent me a lovely letter on Cabinet Office letterhead admitting the bleeding obvious: the Government Communication Service is systematically collecting, storing, and AI-crunching every public social media post you’ve ever made. And yes, that includes your 3 a.m. rant about dinghies in the Channel, your meme of Suella Braverman riding a unicorn, and that time you called the Home Secretary a weapons-grade bellend.

Why are they doing it? To “address potential mis/disinformation”, naturally. Translation: to decide which opinions are allowed to exist in the public square and which must be quietly memory-holed before they upset the approved narrative. The fact that posts about migration are explicitly flagged for “wider thematic reporting” is pure coincidence, comrades. Nothing to see here, move along.

And the cherry on this dystopian cake? They’re packaging up the aggregated fruits of their trawl and shipping it off to “partner governments”. One can only imagine the scene in some windowless room in Langley or Brussels: a civil servant popping open a USB stick marked “British Peasants – Hot Takes 2025” while sipping a flat white and tutting at our collective impertinence.

This isn’t some tinfoil-hatted fantasy. This is the Cabinet Office, in black and white, admitting they’ve built the largest domestic surveillance net in British history and they’re running it through AI faster than you can say “Orwell was an optimist”.

But here’s the delicious part: they still have to pretend to obey the law. GDPR, that glorious European relic we apparently hate now, gives you a handful of rights even Starmer’s Stasi can’t ignore. You can:

• Object to them processing your data
• Demand to know exactly what they’ve hoovered up about you
• Force them to delete it if they no longer have a lawful reason to keep it
• Restrict processing while they squirm

And the beauty? They’ve given us the email address of the poor sod who has to deal with it:
dpo@cabinetoffice.gov.uk

I suggest you drop them a line.

Every single objection lands on a desk. Every request triggers mandatory logging, paperwork, and internal audits. A thousand polite emails become a headache. Ten thousand become a crisis. A hundred thousand become a scandal that even Laura Kuenssberg can’t ignore.

So do it. Do it today. Flood the inbox. Make them choke on their own red tape.

And when they write back with the usual mealy-mouthed guff about “legitimate public interest”, remember this: the East Germans used the exact same phrase.

Yours in glorious, unapproved defiance,

Ken Palarse

P.S. If you’re reading this on your phone while queueing for a coffee you can no longer afford, share it. Share it everywhere. Every retweet is a middle finger to the machine.

How to submit your objection in 30 seconds (copy, paste, send):

Subject: Formal GDPR Objection & Subject Access Request – Delete My Data

Dear Data Protection Officer,

Under Articles 15, 17, 18 and 21 GDPR I:

1. Formally object to any processing of my personal data collected from public social media posts.
2. Require you to provide a full copy of all personal data you hold on me, including any AI-generated profiles or risk scores.
3. Require you to erase all such data immediately as you have no lawful overriding interest that justifies mass surveillance of political speech.

Yours etc.

Amazon affiliate reads for the resistance (because even rebels pay the leccy):

• 1984 by George Orwell – still the blueprint they’re following
• The Gulag Archipelago (abridged) – for when they tell you it can’t happen here
• Live Not By Lies by Rod Dreher – a handbook for the digitally damned