Politicians Really Are Such "Lovely" People

Interesting tweets from @brit_battleaxe 24 hours prior to Kerry Smith's downfall: http://t.co/jybJybi7zv

— Guido Fawkes (@GuidoFawkes) December 15, 2014

They Work For You!

.@DailyMirror: Tory MP Nigel Mills played Candy Crush on iPad for hours in Commons. http://t.co/9iPZtx97Bg pic.twitter.com/iXZHYJr6ho

— Baroness Hussein-Ece (@meralhece) December 8, 2014

Question For David Cameron Re EU Migration

Will you be forcibly repatriating all the Brits who have moved to Spain, France etc etc?

Advice To David Mellor

Go by bus in future!

Rochester and Strood

My commiserations to the good people of Rochester and Strood who have, over the past few weeks, had to endure a slurry of politicians bothering them as they go about their daily lives.

Fortunately, once today is over, the politicians will ignore you again; as is the case with all voters!

Ed Miliband Gazes Into His Mirror

Seemingly Ed Miliband has looked into his mirror, and sees a future Prime Minister staring back at him.

I have some bad news for you Ed, it wasn't a mirror you were looking at, it was your brother!

Don't Bash Blair

Tony Blair has said that it's not his job to rescue the Labour Party.

Fair play to him, he has enough to do what with managing his family's property empire which currently stands at 31 properties.

EU Arrest Warrant Vote

Q: When is a promise not a promise?

A: When it is made by the government.

Socialism - The Path To Prosperity

For many years it has been widely assumed that socialism leads to economic chaos and poverty.

However, this appears not to be the case at all. It transpires that leading socialists Tony and Cherie Blair now own 31 properties. Thus proving that socialism is in fact the path to prosperity!

Clegg's Failure of Leadership and Judgement

Clegg claims he wouldn't have worn the feminist T shirt had he known that it was made under sweatshop conditions.

Yet he was happy enough to wear it when he knew it was marketing stunt by Elle!

The Pigs Win - Expense Records Destroyed

In a display of arrogance and disdain for the voters, Bercow's office has destroyed paperwork relating to MPs' expense claims made before 2010. The excuse being that the destruction was necessary to comply with data protection laws.

Unsurprisingly, this means that those MPs accused of abusing the expenses system will escape official investigation.

How "ironic"!

Advice To UKIP

It's easy being the unwanted party gate crasher, but not so easy staying the night and trying to host the party yourself.

Party Conferences

Aside from the media and political activists, no one gives a fark about what happens at party conferences let alone will remember them by the time the May 2015 election comes round.

Politicians who think that people do take an interest should get their heads out of their arses!

Advice To Ed Miliband

The next time you open your mouth in front of an audience, use a script.

Advice To David Cameron

Treat all microphones as live, even those that seem so far away.

Happy Mansion House Tax Day!

Advice To Politicians

Don't lecture us on the "evils" of tax avoidance (a perfectly legal practice), when you are doing everything you can to avoid taxes on your income!

Question For Cameron

Why did you grant a referendum to Scotland, and put Salmond in a position whereby he is about to destroy the Union?

Boo!

Marcial Boo, the chief executive of the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (Ipsa), believes that MPs do an important job and should not be paid “a miserly amount” for their services. Indeed, an MPs salary of £67K is way below that of Mr Boo's (who earns £120K).

As such he has authoried a pay rise of around 10%, effective from next May.

Whilst this may be all very well in Mr Boo's well paid bubble universe, in reality it simply cannot stand; lest there be an outpouring of anger from the taxpayers and voters, who are constantly being told by the government to tighten their belts.

Mr Boo will find himself abolished before his recommendation comes to fruition.

Boris Island Nixed

Never mind Boris, better luck when you are Prime Minister!

Family Guy

David Cameron

Cameron re-brands himself as Family Guy.

Let's see how that works out for him then!

Swineshead Simmonds

Mark Simmonds, the foreign office minister who resigned from the Government after claiming his expenses were too meagre, used the profit from the sale of his taxpayer funded home to buy a £1 million former abbey in his constituency.

Simmonds sold his home in Putney, South London, for £1.2 million in 2010, making a profit of more than £500,000.

He used his expenses to claim the mortgage interest payments on the property for almost the entire time he owned it.

He and his wife then bought Swineshead Abbey in Lincolnshire for £900,000, a Grade II listed 17th century building with seven bedrooms, stables, a heated outdoor swimming pool, a tennis court and 15 acres of parkland.

Result!

Having made a nice little pile from being an MP Swineshead Simmonds can now turn his attention to making even more money in the real world.

Class act!

Clegg Is A Pillock

Nick Clegg has made it "absolutely clear" to staff and organisers that he would liked to have been able to sign wreath

— Matthew Holehouse (@mattholehouse) August 7, 2014

Cameron Beware, Boris Is Returning

"The likelihood is that I will give it a crack" as an MP in 2015, says Boris Johnson. Here we go. This will get interesting.
— Christopher Hope (@christopherhope) August 6, 2014

Advice To Michael Gove

Learn how to go to the toilet before you start whipping people for their own particular foibles.

The Ingenious Andrew Mitchell

My compliments to Andrew Mitchell for proving to be so ingenious with his tax affairs!

Cabinet Reshuffle

The window dressing of the Cabinet is underway, just in time for next year's election.

Various old faces are out eg Ken Clarke and William Hague (who steps down from Parliament in 2015).

However, despite the window dressing, nothing significant will happen wrt government policy in the run up to the election.

Twat!

Tourism minister tells Brits with delayed passports to holiday at home (from Brazil) http://t.co/b6F8NZThbc pic.twitter.com/nRyray3jCB

— LondonLovesBusiness (@LondonLovesBiz) June 20, 2014

Advice To Nigel Farage

Behind you!

Advice To The Labour Party

When shifting your debt from an institution you no longer want to be associated with, make sure that the institution into which you place your debt is not in fact owned by the one from which you wished to disassociate yourself.

I give you Unitytrust bank.

The "Distraction" of Millergate

Maria Miller has finally resigned her office, on the basis that the affair is proving to be a distraction to the work of her party.

All very well and dandy, as far as that goes. However, she and some in her party have not learned the fundamental lesson from this. Irrespective of whether she really believes that it was OK to only repay £5,800 out of the £45,000 that the independent parliamentary commissioner for standards had previously recommended, the voters do not think that this was right.

Like it or not MPs cannot be seen to be milking taxpayers' money for their own personal benefit.

Public service means just that, the role is for the benefit of the "public" not for the MP's personal gain.

The fact that neither she nor her leader seems to have got that point yet indicates a vast disconnect between some of those in Westminster and the voters.

I Am The Law!

 

IDS lays down the law to Maria Miller....ermmm, no, not quite!

"People who do the wrong thing will see the consequences for that action, and that is a principle should apply to everybody". 

(Source ITV News)

Millergate

I thought Cameron and the government was against tax avoidance these days?

It seems, based on Millergate, that I was wrong!

Advice To Nigel Farage

Don't boast about "harvesting" votes from the BNP. Having a core base of bigots in a political party is nothing to be proud of.

Brighton Welcomes David Cameron

David Cameron is in Brighton today.

I wonder if he will visit the Marina and enter via the "elegant and welcoming" pedestrian entrance?

No, I thought not!

Advice To Clegg and Miliband

Gentlemen re voters accepting a gay PM, I think you will find that ship may have already sailed. Scuttlebutt on the net indicates that we may have had at least one gay PM already.

As if it really matters anyway what an individual's orientation is, you shouldn't make a political issue out of it!

Advice To UKIP

Don't steal your conference slogan from the BNP.

Advice To Ex Members of Blair's Government

Secrets always come out in the end.

Crackerjack! - Easy Money

Paddy Power is offering 3/1 on the word "Crackerjack" being used during today's Prime Minister's Questions.

For why?

Speaker Bercow has been outed as appearing on the programme when he was 12.