Beaker Throws Hissy Fit

 

Beaker Alexander has thrown a hissy fit today, wrt his comments about alleged Tory child benefit plans, as it has finally dawned on him that he will lose his seat next week.

SNP Landslide Predicted

Breaking: New STV/Ipsos Mori poll shows SNP on course to win EVERY seat in Scotland http://t.co/JXINzn0XoK pic.twitter.com/nAxppmEQQt

— STV News (@STVNews) April 29, 2015

Blessed Are The Tax Avoiders - For They Shall Inherit The Earth (Tax Free)!

Labour chief given £1.5m shares from tax haven http://t.co/muvv1T0De2 via @harrynwilson pic.twitter.com/9WlhLXSTso

— TimesBusiness (@TimesBusiness) April 29, 2015

Labour On Cake

Let them eat cake. Labour "Tory Secret Plan" cup cakes on offer at today's Ed Miliband/Ed Balls economy briefing pic.twitter.com/SwtJ8jZ12M

— Christopher Hope (@christopherhope) April 29, 2015

UKIP Candidate Can't Spell Own Name

Not just a typo, two letters out> North Ayrshire UKIP candidate gets own name wrong on election leaflet http://t.co/2v8Eap0Vly

— Rowena Mason (@rowenamason) April 28, 2015

#EdBallsDay

Wishing everyone a merry #EdBallsDay pic.twitter.com/TPK1Ye1bOQ

— Patrick Lord (@PatrickLord33) April 28, 2015

Where's David?

If you look closely the Prime Minister is in this passion fuelled crowd. pic.twitter.com/NGoeT0npQa

— Paul Waugh (@paulwaugh) April 27, 2015

Incitement To Violence In The People's Republic of Tower Hamlets

Lutfur Rahman adviser: there will be street violence unless people stop complaining about Tower Hamlets election http://t.co/11MXjGm2pK

— Joe4Stoke (@joerichlaw) April 24, 2015

SNP's Austerity Claims Holed Below The Waterline

.@theifs analysis effectively demolishes the SNP claim that they would bring austerity to an end. Striking chart: pic.twitter.com/mtlCMpD33E

— Ed Conway (@EdConwaySky) April 23, 2015

Muppet Takes Brighton

Just passed Ed Milliband at Brighton station. He really does look like a muppet.

— Vincent Whittaker (@Vince_Whittaker) March 2, 2015

Cameron Lays It On The Line

Cam message to electorate:"if you vote for who you believe in then you might end up with someone you despise even more than me." Dismal.

— Patrick O'Flynn (@oflynnmep) April 22, 2015

SNP Manifesto Launch

The SNP manifesto launch is taking place in some kind of Bond villain lair in the middle of nowhere. pic.twitter.com/7z6mqV9FlP

— Jamie Ross (@JamieRoss7) April 20, 2015

Scotland's One Party State

In terms of membership relative to size of population, the SNP is the 2nd largest party in the world after the Chinese Communist Party.

— Brendan McGeever (@b_mcgeever) April 20, 2015

Something For The Weekend

I'm not a huge fan of them either, Simon, but isn't that a bit extreme? pic.twitter.com/6qbtMyf6Iz

— Scott Hoad (@ScottHoad) April 18, 2015

8th May - A Portent of The Future

All hail, Macbeth! Hail to you, thane of Cawdor!

A Right Balls Up!

Staggering! Ed Balls thinks Labour note saying money had run out was a "joke".Who's laughing?! http://t.co/rjXDP2VJ2Z pic.twitter.com/uVIUPLBaaf

— Carrie Symonds (@carrieapples) April 16, 2015

Mass Debate Minus One

Nervous Ed’s two days’ prep for TV debate http://t.co/VjnAP2mx2J pic.twitter.com/a1E9ILx4Yc

— Sun Politics (@SunPolitics) April 16, 2015

Tonight sees yet another political mass debate on TV, this one though will be sans Cameron.

Time will tell as to whether avoiding pygmies was a wise or foolish move.

Greens To Ban Everything

Courtesy of LondonlovesBusiness here is a list of many of the things that the Greens (the party of intolerance) wish to ban, aside from the Grand National:

• Privatisation of the NHS
• SATS tests, league tables and academies
• Tuition fees and cancel student debt
• Tax avoidance and evasion
• Rail privatisation
• Workfare and benefit sanctions
• Trident nuclear deterrent
• Biodiversity offsetting (where property developers destroy habitats but create another elsewhere)
• Genetically Modified Organisms
• The production and sale of foie gras
• Cloning of animals for food
• Overuse of antibiotics in farming
• Monkeys (and other primates) as pets
• Importing exotic pets
• Hunting, the badger cull, snares, sport shooting
• Animals in circuses
• Use of a whip in horse racing, and a review of the sport
• Importing fur
• Keeping dolphins, whales, porpoises for commercial purposes, or killing them in the wild
• Non-medical experiments on animals
• Breeding genetically altered animals
• Puppy farming
• Electric shock collars for dogs
• Patenting of genes and living organisms
• Waste food being sent to landfill
• Fossil-fuel-based generation, including closing coal-fired power stations by 2023
• Nuclear power
• Fracking
• Fossil-fuel industry tax breaks/subsidies
• New building on flood plains
• Detention of LGBTQ asylum seekers and culture of disbelief
• Lads mags and porn in supermarkets and newsagents
• Stopping nursing mothers breastfeeding in a public place
• Fit for work scheme where outside person decides if a disabled person can work
• The exploitation of interns and young people in low-wage jobs
• “Phony” patient choice
• Alcohol under 50p a unit
• Opt-in organ donation (move to an opt-out system)
• Mixed-sex accommodation in hospitals
• Children being put in police cells
• Marketisation and outsourcing of education
• Class sizes of more than 20
• Private schools’ charitable status, running schools for profit
• Religious organisations in schools
• Parents paying for school equipment and expensive trips
• Help to Buy
• Stamp Duty
• Big builder “cartels”
• Right to Buy and mass council house sales
• Landlord perks such as tax deductions and mortgage interest relief
• Bedroom tax
• Exploitative zero-hours contracts
• Unequal pay between men and women
• Blacklisting (and set up an investigation into blacklisting in construction)
• Combined retail and investment banking firms
• City of London Corporation
• 20% VAT on cooked food, entertainment and accommodation (reduce to 5%)
• Employees National Insurance upper threshold
• Corporation tax relief on companies which have more than a 10:1 ratio between the highest and lowest paid employees
• Capital gains tax personal allowance
• The seven-year rule on gifts by living donors
• The Universal Credit programme
• Work-for-benefits programmes
• Private sector contracts with government on benefit entitlement assessment
• Childcare tax credits and tax reliefs (in favour of free universal childcare and early education)
• Lobbying Act
• New Homes Bonus
• Individual or company owning 20% or more of a media market
• National major roads programme
• Favourable tax treatment of aviation
• Pavement parking
• Torture and the sale of torture equipment
• Restrictions on foreign students
• Rich people “buying” their way into the UK
• The Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP)
• Police & Crime Commissioners

Labour's Bland Manifesto

Here it is, the manifesto hard copy #labour #ge2015 pic.twitter.com/XqHSspoTic
— William James (@WJames_Reuters) April 13, 2015

Sans the de rigueur socially inclusive photos of people from a variety of backgrounds, sexes and ages etc.

How very bland!

Here's the full 2015 Labour manifesto [pdf]: http://t.co/SMK4XfMyPP

— Ed Conway (@EdConwaySky) April 13, 2015

Who'd Have Thought It?

Labour election launch. A banner to make every Labour supporter proud... pic.twitter.com/FLs2fpPjtZ

— Dan Hodges (@DPJHodges) April 13, 2015

The SNP Doesn't Like Democracy

Rennie: SNP preparing 'accelerated pathway' to another referendum http://t.co/bzEAQAMa7e pic.twitter.com/J7S0e5RW16
— STV News (@STVNews) April 12, 2015

Doubtless its army of cybernats and street thugs will be mobilised to ensure that people vote in the "correct" manner the next time!

Vote Tory for Competent Bastards

Tory MP on Fallon:“Our pitch to people is we’re competent bastards, but the risk from this is we just look like bastards" (via @jameskirkup)

— Paul Waugh (@paulwaugh) April 10, 2015

Michael Fallon vs Dr Strangelove

Michael Fallon v Dr Strangelove! #SpotTheDifference #Election2015 pic.twitter.com/xhODLam6g3

— Keyvan Hedvat (@Hedverse) April 9, 2015

Miliband On Tax Avoidance

Ed doesn't like "rich people playing by different rules".

Hence he wishes to abolish the non dom tax rule.

How ironic, given that he rewrote his late father's will in order to avoid tax!

Blair To The Rescue

As Blair hits the campaign trail, a reminder of those times he hinted Miliband wasn't up to being party leader... http://t.co/suVbzA1zAs
— Emily Ashton (@elashton) April 7, 2015

Tony Blair's attempts to rescue the Labour party from itself will most likely backfire, given that he and Miliband have completely different political views.

Sturgeon Is Delusional

Sturgeon thinks it started to of wrong for Labour when Kinnock replaced Foot. Good God http://t.co/PNuaIG1oow

— Chris Deerin (@chrisdeerin) April 6, 2015

Advice To Nicola Sturgeon

As per the Telegraph:

"It is a common diplomatic courtesy if an ambassador to the UK visits one of the three devolved administrations in Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland for the British Government to be given an official readout of the conversation."

#massdebate

 

Apparently Sturgeon "won" last night's #massdebate.

In the event that this "win" mutates to actual votes/seats then the country is fucked!

The Seven Way Clusterfuck

The 7-way Clustermuck. My preview of tonight's ITV #leadersdebate. http://t.co/bmX10Uvc1b
— Paul Waugh (@paulwaugh) April 2, 2015

Coming to a TV screen near you tonight!

Farage's Prep

Nigel Farage says he hasn't done any prep for TV debates. Patrick O'Flynn says his leader has been studying in a 'rigorous' way...
— Rowena Mason (@rowenamason) April 1, 2015

Methinks Farage is telling porkies.

As an Old Alleynian I can confirm that it was considered bad form to ever admit doing "prep". However, in reality those who claimed to have done nothing would invariably have worked their arses off the night before.