Farming Minister Faints 'at Sight of Meat'

 

Stephen Morgan, the farming minister, fainted 'at sight of meat' while touring cold storage unit.

Convicted Fraudster Signed Off Chaotic Government BBQ Warning

 

It turns out that it was the convicted fraudster Louise Haigh who signed off the chaotic and absurd government BBQ phone warning the other day.

Aside from scaring the Bejesus out of many people, and almost causing a number of car crashes, it has succeeded in encouraging many people to mute future warnings on their phones.

It did of course help her to find all her "missing" phones! 

Passport To Piddington

On 4 July 2026 (chosen to coincide with US Independence Day), the residents of Piddington voted overwhelmingly (reports of 175–7 or 96%) to hold a referendum on seceding from the UK / declaring independence (sometimes framed as the “Principality of Piddington”). 

A formal independence referendum is planned for September 2026. 

Piddington is currently protesting Home Office plans to house 1,250 single adult male illegal asylum seekers at a nearby former military site (MoD Bicester / Bicester barracks storage depot), which would more than triple or quadruple the village’s population of roughly 350–370 people (around 250–350 adults plus children.

Burnham claims that this part of the "fair" distribution of illegals to wealthier areas (even though it will cost the taxpayer more).

It should be noted, with a degree of irony, that the local council is a Green/LibDem coalition, and the MP is a LibDem. Both these parties support mass migration to the UK.

Burnham To Block Out The Sun

 

 

🚨 BREAKING: Andy Burnham will chair a meeting of COBRA this afternoon about the extreme heat

— Politics UK (@PolitlcsUK) August 12, 2026

Phillips Pulled a Fake Sickie!

 

Jess Phillips has disclosed that she pretended to be ill to avoid defending Lord Mandelson. 

The former minister admitted she refused to appear for Home Office questions because she could not honestly claim that the then-ambassador was “good at his job”.

Anyone else in any other job would have been fired for doing this! 

Labour Really is Shit!

 

Convicted Fraudster To Mind The Shop

 

Two weeks into his premiership, and Andy Burnham is going on holiday.

During his absence convicted fraudster Louise Haigh will be minding the shop!