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The PalArse of Westminster

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Exposing the hypocrisy, greed and incompetence of our "respected" elected political "elite".

Monday, 2 November 2026

Miliband and Burnham are Paralysed Pieces of Piss

 




ENOUGH OF THE HISTORICAL LECTURES, POLITICAL POSTURING AND HANDS IN THE BRITISH TAXPAYER'S POCKET! WHAT ABOUT THE 17,000 BRITISH SAILORS WHO DIED FIGHTING SLAVERY?

There comes a point when political posturing becomes so breathtakingly hypocritical that it deserves to be called out in the strongest possible terms.

The latest discussion about Britain's historical involvement in slavery, involving Andy Burnham and Ed Miliband, is a perfect example.

Apparently, Britain should apologise for its historical role in the slave trade. We must acknowledge our shame, demonstrate our remorse and make all the appropriate noises to satisfy those demanding reparatory justice.

But, we're told, don't worry, British taxpayers won't be paying reparations.

Oh, really?

Because almost immediately afterwards comes talk of funding education, healthcare, poverty reduction, development programmes and debt relief for countries involved in the reparations debate.

So there won't be reparations, just British taxpayers funding a collection of initiatives that appear remarkably connected to the same demands?

What a convenient bit of political wordplay.

Call it investment. Call it development assistance. Call it international cooperation. Dress it up in whatever language makes it more palatable.

If British taxpayers are expected to pay, it is British taxpayers' money.

And before Burnham, Miliband or anybody else starts lecturing this country about its historical responsibilities, perhaps they should acquaint themselves with the ENTIRE history of slavery.

Because Britain did not simply participate in the slave trade. It also became one of the most determined forces in history in bringing it to an end.

And that part seems remarkably inconvenient for today's political narrative.

17,000 BRITISH SAILORS: WHERE IS THEIR APOLOGY?

Let's talk about the Royal Navy.

Following the prohibition of British participation in the slave trade in 1807, Britain established the West Africa Squadron to hunt down slave ships and suppress the trade.

This was not some comfortable exercise in political virtue signalling.

British sailors were dispatched to some of the most dangerous and disease-ridden waters in the world. They faced armed slave traders, violent confrontations, malaria, yellow fever and appalling conditions.

The Royal Navy itself published a figure of approximately 17,000 British sailors dead during the campaign over 52 years.

Seventeen thousand!

Let that number sink in.

These were real people. Not historical statistics to be casually discarded. They were husbands, fathers, sons and brothers.

They died in an operation designed to stop the trafficking and enslavement of human beings.

The squadron captured approximately 1,600 slave ships and liberated around 150,000 Africans.

And what recognition do these men receive in today's political discussion?

Where are the grand speeches about their sacrifice?

Where is the recognition of the enormous national effort involved?

Where is the acknowledgement that Britain spent decades committing ships, manpower and taxpayers' money to suppress the slave trade?

These men deserve to be remembered, not conveniently forgotten because their story complicates today's political narrative.

If we're going to apologise for Britain's past, perhaps somebody should also remember the British sailors who died trying to put an end to one of humanity's greatest atrocities.

AND WHO EXACTLY WAS SELLING THE SLAVES?

Here is another inconvenient historical fact that seems to get rather lost in the modern political debate.

African rulers, kingdoms, merchants and intermediaries were actively involved in capturing, trading and selling enslaved Africans.

This is not controversial history. It is extensively documented.

The Kingdom of Dahomey became heavily involved in the Atlantic slave trade. African commercial networks supplied captives to European traders. Prisoners of war, people seized in raids and others were sold into the trade.

European traders did not independently capture every person transported across the Atlantic. They purchased captives through established African trading networks.

Of course, European merchants, shipowners, plantation owners and governments played an enormous role. They financed, transported, bought, exploited and profited from the trade on a massive scale.

But why is there such reluctance to discuss the African rulers and merchants who participated?

Why does historical responsibility appear to become a one-sided conversation whenever reparations enter the political arena?

Are we really expected to pretend that African participation simply didn't happen?

Historical responsibility cannot be allocated according to whichever version of events is most politically fashionable.

If we are going to examine the past, examine ALL of it.

BRITAIN PAID £20 MILLION TO ABOLISH SLAVERY. THE TAXPAYER CARRIED THE BILL.

In 1833, the Slavery Abolition Act was passed.

The British Government committed £20 million in compensation to slave owners to secure abolition.

Not to the enslaved.

To the slave owners.

British taxpayers effectively financed compensation to those who owned human beings.

It was an enormous financial commitment, representing a substantial proportion of government expenditure at the time.

The associated borrowing was not finally cleared until 2015.

Think about that.

British taxpayers carried the financial burden of abolishing slavery for generations.

The Royal Navy then continued enforcing the suppression of the trade at considerable financial and human cost.

Yet today, we have politicians seemingly desperate to discuss what further financial obligations Britain might accept.

Have we completely lost our minds?

How many times must the British taxpayer be expected to pay for the sins of previous generations?

NO REPARATIONS, BUT WE'LL PAY FOR EVERYTHING ELSE?

This is where the political argument becomes particularly difficult to swallow.

Burnham says he does not support financial reparations being paid by today's British taxpayers.

Yet the discussion includes proposals for education, development assistance, healthcare, debt restructuring and poverty reduction.

Perhaps somebody should explain the difference in practical financial terms.

How much will these initiatives cost?

Where will the money come from?

Are these additional commitments?

Will they be permanent?

Who will oversee the spending?

And why should people struggling to pay their mortgages, rent, energy bills and taxes in Britain be expected to finance them?

The public deserves answers.

It is not enough to announce that reparations are ruled out while simultaneously discussing alternative arrangements involving public money.

That is not financial transparency.

It is political semantics.

If the Government believes these programmes are worthwhile, make the case for them independently. Do not attempt to smuggle potentially significant financial commitments into the debate under a different label.

British taxpayers are not an unlimited international credit facility.

SLAVERY STILL EXISTS. PERHAPS POLITICIANS SHOULD CONCENTRATE ON THAT.

And here's another extraordinary aspect of this debate.

Slavery hasn't disappeared.

It is happening today.

The International Labour Organisation, Walk Free and the International Organisation for Migration estimated that 49.6 million people were living in modern slavery in 2021.

Approximately 27.6 million were in forced labour and 22 million in forced marriages.

Human trafficking, forced labour, domestic servitude and exploitation continue across the world.

So where is the relentless political determination to eradicate slavery NOW?

Where is the same enthusiasm for tackling the people trafficking victims across borders, exploiting vulnerable workers and forcing people into lives of servitude?

Why are we so consumed by historical financial demands when millions of people are suffering from modern slavery?

If the principle is that slavery is abhorrent, then surely it should be abhorrent wherever it happens and whoever is responsible.

It should not be a selective historical argument used to generate political pressure and financial demands.

Perhaps our politicians should spend less time debating how Britain should apologise for the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries and more time ensuring that people are not being enslaved in the twenty-first.

BRITISH TAXPAYERS ARE NOT PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EIGHTEENTH CENTURY.

Let's get something absolutely clear.

Today's British population did not operate the slave ships.

They did not own the plantations.

They did not capture Africans.

They did not legislate to protect the slave trade.

They are not personally responsible for the actions of people who lived centuries before them.

And yet they are increasingly being spoken about as though they have inherited an unlimited financial liability simply by virtue of being British.

That is an extraordinary proposition.

Acknowledging historical wrongdoing is one thing.

Accepting perpetual financial responsibility for it is quite another.

There is no justification for politicians making vague financial commitments on behalf of millions of taxpayers without properly explaining the costs, obligations and intended outcomes.

And there is certainly no justification for presenting British history as though this country contributed nothing to ending the trade.

A FINAL WORD TO BURNHAM AND MILIBAND

If you want to apologise for Britain's historical involvement in slavery, that is a political decision.

But have the courage to tell the whole story.

Tell people about the African kingdoms and merchants who sold captives.

Tell people about the European merchants and plantation owners who profited.

Tell people about the British abolitionists who fought for decades to end the trade.

Tell people about the £20 million paid to slave owners by British taxpayers.

Tell people about the Royal Navy's West Africa Squadron.

Tell people about the thousands of British sailors who died enforcing abolition.

And tell people why, after all that history, today's British taxpayers should be expected to accept further financial commitments.

Don't give us carefully polished political statements.

Don't tell us there will be no reparations while discussing alternative ways of spending our money.

Don't lecture the British public about historical guilt while ignoring the sacrifices made by British people who helped end the trade.

And don't pretend that history began and ended with Britain's involvement in slavery.

Britain's history includes shame, but it also includes courage, sacrifice, abolition and an enormous national commitment to ending the slave trade.

The victims deserve to be remembered. The abolitionists deserve to be remembered. The Royal Navy sailors deserve to be remembered.

And today's British taxpayers deserve to be treated with some respect.

ENOUGH OF THE SELECTIVE HISTORY. ENOUGH OF THE POLITICAL POSTURING. AND ENOUGH OF MAKING THE BRITISH TAXPAYER FEEL THAT THEY MUST KEEP PAYING FOR HISTORY THEY DID NOT CREATE.

An apology is not a blank cheque.

Historical responsibility is not an unlimited financial liability.

And Britain should never be expected to forget the people who died trying to end slavery simply because remembering them makes today's political arguments rather less convenient.

Thursday, 29 October 2026

End of Rome Level of Stupidity!

 


Tuesday, 27 October 2026

Let Them Eat Gherkins!


 

Nosferatu the Chancellor has decided that we all need a "little breathing space", so he has decided to reduce the import tax on gherkins (and a few other products eg marmalade).

This will save people around £21 per annum.

Do not rush out and spend this all at once, for what Nosferatu gives with one hand he takes with the toher.

Beer will go up by 2p per pint in tomorrow's budget. 

Friday, 23 October 2026

Prepare For 1974


 

The government is making half hearted efforts to nudge us into preparing for power cuts, water shortages and other contingencies.

It is perfectly sensible and reasonable for people to have stockpiles of food, water, medicines and other essentials. However, I have a number of observations:

1 Why has it taken the government this long to issue this half hearted advice?

2 Many people can't afford to stockpile these items, what are they meant to do?

3 Three days is simply not long enough, there is no way a major power outage/water contamination etc will be fixed in that time.

 4 Why have successive governments allowed our energy, water and communications infrastructure to become so vulnerable? 

Tin hats everyone! 

Monday, 12 October 2026

Burnham's Dead Cat Distraction Turns Into Damp Squid

 


Andy Burnham’s Brexit Blunder: When Your Own Minister Undermines Your Russia Claims

Andy Burnham wanted to make headlines with his claims about Russian interference in the Brexit referendum. Instead, he has landed himself in an embarrassing political mess — because one of his own ministers has gone on television and appeared to pull the rug from under his argument.

Burnham, in a failed attempt to distract attention from the Manchester City funding scandal says Russia influenced Brexit. His own minister says Russia tried to interfere but failed. So who, exactly, are we supposed to believe?

That is not a minor difference in wording. It is the difference between claiming that a foreign power attempted to meddle in a democratic process and suggesting that it actually influenced the outcome. One is a claim about hostile activity; the other raises serious questions about the integrity of a historic referendum.

If Burnham is suggesting that Russia helped shape the result, the obvious question is where the evidence is. And if his own minister is saying that Russian interference was unsuccessful, Burnham needs to explain precisely what he means by claiming that the referendum was influenced.

He cannot have it both ways.

You cannot make a dramatic allegation about foreign interference, bask in the headlines it generates, and then expect the public to overlook the fact that your own side appears to be drawing a crucial distinction between attempted interference and actual impact.

The contradiction is the story. Burnham is making the politically explosive claim; his own minister is apparently narrowing it. Either Burnham has evidence that goes beyond the minister's account, in which case he should publish it and explain the discrepancy, or his language is running ahead of what has actually been established.

And if the minister's position is that Russia tried but failed, that hardly amounts to confirmation that Moscow influenced the referendum result.

This is precisely why politicians should choose their words carefully when discussing democratic legitimacy. Accusing a foreign power of attempting to interfere is serious enough. Suggesting that it influenced the outcome of a referendum is a much bigger claim, and it demands evidence to match.

Burnham now has some explaining to do. What exactly is he alleging? What evidence supports it? And why does the account offered by his own minister appear to stop short of the conclusion Burnham wants people to draw?

Until those questions are answered, the episode looks less like a devastating revelation and more like a political own goal.

If Andy Burnham wants to cast doubt on the Brexit referendum by invoking Russia, he needs to do more than make headlines. He needs to explain why his own minister appears to be telling a different story.

Monday, 5 October 2026

You’ll Need ID to Enter the Net, But Not the Country


 

There is something deeply backwards about a world in which you can cross a national border without handing over your identity, but may soon need to prove exactly who you are just to go online.

Walk into a country and, depending on where you are coming from, you may be waved through with little more than a passport check.

Open a website, however, and increasingly the message is becoming:

Prove who you are.

Upload your ID. Verify your age. Confirm your identity. Authenticate yourself. Hand over another piece of the digital version of your life.

Welcome to the new internet.

It is being sold as safety. As protection. As responsibility. As a way to keep children away from harmful content, stop criminals, tackle fraud and make the internet a more trustworthy place.

Those are all worthy goals.

But there is a question nobody should be allowed to dodge:

How much of your identity should you have to surrender simply to participate in public life online?

Because the internet isn't some niche entertainment platform anymore. It is where we work, learn, shop, communicate, organise, publish, protest, research, debate and increasingly access essential services.

It is infrastructure.

And we are quietly turning that infrastructure into an identity checkpoint.

The internet is becoming a border crossing

For decades, one of the defining characteristics of the internet was that you could participate without necessarily revealing your real-world identity.

You could read an article.

Browse a forum.

Ask a question.

Research a sensitive subject.

Talk to strangers.

Publish an opinion.

You might use a username. You might remain anonymous. You might reveal your identity when you wanted to.

That wasn't a bug.

For many people, anonymity is protection.

It protects whistleblowers. Victims of abuse. Political dissidents. People exploring their sexuality. People asking embarrassing medical questions. Employees speaking about their employers. Citizens criticising powerful institutions.

It also allows ordinary people to separate their public identity from every single thing they have ever searched, watched, read or said.

That separation is disappearing.

The emerging model is brutally simple:

Before you get access, prove who you are.

And once identity becomes the price of admission, anonymity stops being a normal feature of the internet and becomes a privilege.

But we're doing this in the name of safety

And this is where the debate gets difficult.

Nobody seriously believes the internet should be a lawless playground.

Children should be protected.

Fraud should be tackled.

Sexual exploitation should be aggressively pursued.

Criminal networks should not be able to hide behind technology.

The problem isn't the objective.

The problem is the assumption that the answer to every online problem is to make every ordinary person more identifiable.

That's a remarkably blunt instrument.

It's the digital equivalent of saying that because some people drive drunk, everyone should have to surrender their fingerprints before getting into a car.

Security matters.

But so does proportionality.

Your identity is not just another password

The defenders of mandatory digital identification often talk about ID verification as though it were a harmless administrative step.

It isn't.

A password can be changed.

A credit card can be cancelled.

Your identity cannot.

Once an organisation knows who you are, that information can potentially be linked to what you do.

What you read.

What you watch.

Where you go.

What you buy.

Who you communicate with.

What you believe.

What you search for.

Maybe that information is never misused.

Maybe it is securely stored forever.

Maybe every organisation involved is perfectly competent.

Maybe nobody ever gets hacked.

Maybe no future government decides that information should be used for a different purpose.

Maybe.

History is not particularly reassuring about the word "maybe".

The dangerous part isn't today's policy

The most important question isn't necessarily what a digital ID system does today.

It's what it makes possible tomorrow.

Infrastructure has a habit of expanding.

A system created to verify someone's age can eventually become a system used to verify someone's identity.

A system designed for pornography can be extended to social media.

A system introduced to protect children can become a prerequisite for accessing other categories of content.

A database created for one purpose can become extraordinarily attractive to institutions with entirely different purposes.

The phrase "mission creep" sounds boring.

Until it happens to you.

And then there's the chilling effect

Imagine knowing that your identity is attached to everything you read.

Would you research certain subjects?

Would you visit controversial websites?

Would you read political material you disagree with?

Would you ask a question about mental health, sexuality, religion or addiction?

Would you participate in a protest movement?

Would you criticise your employer?

Would you publish an unpopular opinion?

Perhaps you would.

But perhaps you'd hesitate.

And that hesitation matters.

Freedom doesn't disappear only when someone kicks down your door.

Sometimes it disappears because people become afraid to open it.

We should be building privacy-preserving systems, not identity traps

There is a huge difference between proving something about yourself and handing over your entire identity.

You should be able to prove that you are over 18 without necessarily revealing your name, address, date of birth, passport number and entire digital identity.

You should be able to establish eligibility without creating a permanent record of everywhere you used that eligibility.

Technology can do this.

Privacy-preserving credentials, cryptographic proofs and other forms of selective verification offer a fundamentally different model.

The choice isn't simply:

No regulation or everyone shows their ID.

That's a false choice.

We can protect children without building a universal identity checkpoint.

We can fight fraud without making anonymity impossible.

We can enforce the law without turning every citizen into a pre-emptively identifiable suspect.

We can make the internet safer without making it less free.

The irony is almost impossible to miss

You can walk into a country as a stranger.

You can sit in a public space without first proving your identity.

You can buy a newspaper without presenting a government credential.

You can enter a library without uploading your passport.

But increasingly, the internet—the place where much of modern public life now happens—is being redesigned around the assumption that you should identify yourself before participating.

Think about how strange that is.

The physical world has spent centuries developing concepts like privacy, anonymity and freedom of expression.

The digital world is now being told to forget them.

We should be asking a much harder question

Not:

"Can digital ID make the internet safer?"

Of course it can.

Almost any surveillance system can make something safer.

The harder question is:

"What kind of internet are we willing to build in exchange for that safety?"

An internet where identity is the default?

An internet where anonymous speech is treated as suspicious?

An internet where access to information depends on passing an identity check?

An internet where private companies become gatekeepers to your digital identity?

An internet where governments can gradually connect the dots between who you are and what you do online?

That isn't a minor technical adjustment.

It's a fundamental redesign of the relationship between citizens, technology and the state.

And we should be arguing about it like one.

Because once the infrastructure is built, removing it will be infinitely harder than objecting to it now.

So yes, protect children.

Yes, fight criminals.

Yes, tackle fraud.

But don't sleepwalk into a world where the price of using the internet is proving who you are.

You may not need a passport to enter the country.

But if we're not careful, you might need one to enter the internet.