Title

The PalArse of Westminster

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Exposing the hypocrisy, greed and incompetence of our "respected" elected political "elite".

Thursday, 19 December 2019

Deluded Prat!

Tuesday, 17 December 2019

We love are Queen of the United kingdom.

Friday, 13 December 2019

Tory Landslide


Tory majority of 80.
 
As Boris has correctly said this morning, people have lent the Tories their vote. It is important that the Tories do not forget that.

Labour now need to sort themselves out, to become a credible opposition that the country deserves and needs.

Wednesday, 11 December 2019

Pat Mustard

Tuesday, 10 December 2019

#FakeGate

A fair amount of fake shit was disseminated yesterday on the web and by the MSM.

Let us hope that some balance and credibility is restored!

Monday, 9 December 2019

Burgon Uncovers Boris's Guilty Secret

Cambridge doesn't really seem to produce quality graduates anymore!

Alex Salmond Takes Manspreading To a Whole New Level


Friday, 6 December 2019

Channel 4 Gets a Full Broadside


Channel 4 Apologises For "Mishearing" Boris

Anti Semites Hoisted With Their Own Petard

Andrew Neil Is Peeved With Boris


The fact is, interviews are not compulsory and Boris can do what he likes. 

It will be up to the voters to decide if this one interview (or lack of interview) matters, not the media!

Thursday, 5 December 2019

Labour is Revolting!

Parts of The Brexit Party Realise They Have Screwed Up

Wednesday, 4 December 2019

Prats!

Tuesday, 3 December 2019

Misleading Shite

The tax on £82K is NOT £8.33 per month.

Here is the actual monthly tax you pay

Income Tax is £1,691.52
National Insurance £467.01
Total you pay £2,158.53

Monday, 2 December 2019

Labour To Cut Train Fares By 1/3rd

Classic middle class bribe, and not in the manifesto therefore it appears Labour is making it up as it goes along.

Wednesday, 27 November 2019

Corbyn's "Bombshell" Turns From Damp Squid To Car Crash

It would seem that Corbyn's "dramatic" Q&A session on the 450 pages of unredacted US/UK discussions is turning into a car crash.

Bombshell or Damp Squid?

Irrespective of the veracity, or otherwise, of Corbyn's unredacted documents; how is it physically possible to "sell" the NHS?

The NHS doesn't make anything, why on earth would anyone want to buy it?

Tuesday, 26 November 2019

Sturgeon Gets a Well Deserved "Doing"

Pardon?

This election gets weirder day by day!

Tuesday, 12 November 2019

Cyber Attack On Labour - Allegedly


Farage Partially Stands Aside


Farage confirmed his Brexit candidates would not stand in the 317 seats won by the Tories at the last election.

However, he is publicly claiming that Brexit will stand in Labour seats, which will of course split the Tory vote and damage their chances of taking them from Labour.

Currently Farage is demanding that the Tories stand aside in these seats. Given that will clearly not happen, it is hoped that he will back down further and not stand in all Labour seats.

Monday, 11 November 2019

Thursday, 7 November 2019

Blimey!


What with this and Tom Watson standing down as Labour Deputy Leader and MP, it is clear that this election is unlike any other in recent times!

The tectonic plates are shifting.

Wednesday, 6 November 2019

I Dissolve Thee!

Tories Use Up All Their Dead Cats in One Go

Question For The Tories

You do know that the election campaign is starting, don't you?
 


Tuesday, 5 November 2019

Swinson Airbrushes Thatcher and May

All Is Not Well In The House of Farage


Monday, 4 November 2019

Farage Bottles It and Leads From The Rear


Having threatened to field 500 BXP candidates in the general election (which will split the Tory vote and usher in Corbyn) Farage decided not to stand himself.

It is a tad unusual for a leader of an alleged political party to not stand for election.

So what's going on here?

1 Farage has stood for parliament 7 times, and lost on each occasion. He knows he has FA chance of being elected.

2 He wants to keep his radio show, standing will mean he would not be on air as much as his ego wants.

3 Splitting the Tory vote will ensure Corbyn wins and that Brexit never happens. This split esnures that Farage stays on the EU gravy train as an MEP, it also ensures he can continue to publicly call for the UK to leave the EU.

In short, Farage's "policy" is based on greed and ego.

Friday, 1 November 2019

Corbyn Advocates Culling of Billionaires


The politics of envy has always worked well for Labour.

However, if Corbyn does eliminate the billionaires living in the UK who gets their money?

- The poor and impoverished?

- No

The state!

Thursday, 31 October 2019

Polling

UK opinion polls

IRONY KLAXON!


Does he not remember that he blocked Brexit on numerous occasions?

Wednesday, 30 October 2019

General Election 12th December


After much unnecessary shenanigans, and changes of direction by various people and parties, Boris has got the election he desires for 12th December.

It will be a brutal battle, and Boris should be aware of the old adage be careful what you wish for.

Whatever the result, the UK will have a new government in place on Friday 13th December!

Tuesday, 29 October 2019

Election On

The Bill


The On/Off Election


The government failed to get a 2/3rds majority for a 12 December election last night.

Therefore today they are trying a again with a one line bill that just needs a simple majority.

Currently the dimwits in Parliament are arguing about whether it should be on the 9th, 11th or 12th.

Meanwhile the country continues to stagnate!

Monday, 28 October 2019

Labour Won't Vote For an Election

Friday, 25 October 2019

Government To Go On Strike


Boris has decided that enough is enough, and has stated that he will try to call a general election for 12 December.

Unfortunately for him, there is one very large fly in his ointment; namely the Fixed Term Parliament Act (an absurd piece of legislation from the days of the Liberal/Tory coalition).

Under this act, the government needs a 2/3rds majority in order to be able to call a general election.

Can you guess what will happen children?

Yes, that's right, Labour will not vote for it next week.

What will happen then?

It seems that the government will go on strike, and do only the bare minimum (the Budget has already been pulled).

We really are through the looking glass here.


Thursday, 24 October 2019

'Twas Ever Thus!

Wednesday, 23 October 2019

Soon Rid of Bercow!

Friday, 18 October 2019

"Super" Saturday - The Numbers Game

All very well and good, but given that politicians lie no faith can be out in these numbers until the votes are actually cast.

Thursday, 17 October 2019

Brexit Party Calls For Technical Extension!

Head in hands!

Wednesday, 16 October 2019

Anti Abortion Group Bribed To Not Rock The Boat

Monday, 14 October 2019

The Odd Couple


Happy Queen's Speech Day!


Budget Day 6th November

Wednesday, 9 October 2019

Q&A With The Prospective Speakers

Tuesday, 8 October 2019

Uncooperative Crusties

I think he's lost Swampy's vote!

Monday, 7 October 2019

Welcome To The Land of Stupid!

Friday, 4 October 2019

Rory Stewart To Stand as Mayor of London


Having publicly stood down and resigned from the Tory party, Rory Stewart will now stand as an independent candidate for the role of Mayor of London.

Rory Stewart Stands Down

Thursday, 3 October 2019

The Joy of Kangaroo Testicles

Tuesday, 1 October 2019

The Minimum Wage - The Curate's Egg

Raising the minimum wage will increase the take home pay of those employed at the current minimum wage, if they keep their jobs.

The downsides are:

1 It increases the costs of the firms that employ people on minimum wages.

2 It increases the likelihood that staff will be laid off, in order to reduce increased costs.

3 Increased costs may well be passed on to the consumer.

Friday, 27 September 2019

The Shouty Parliament


Parliament has shouted itself to a standstill, and has achieved nothing since the Supreme Court unprorogued it.

Who will rid us of this turbulent parliament?

Wednesday, 25 September 2019

The "Coups" That Never Were


My word Westminster is really "spoiling" us, not content with giving us the "coup" of prorogation we now have the "constitutional coup" of non prorogation.

To be clear to the politicians and members of the media who have used the word "coup" to describe one or other of these events, neither was a "coup".

Get real!

Tuesday, 24 September 2019

Ball In Speaker's Court

Given that the Supreme Court has ruled that prorogation was not lawful and has not occurred, it is now up to the Speaker to decide what to do.

Parliament Has NOT Been Prorogued!

Prorogation UNLAWFUL

Lady Hale Delivers Verdict

A Labour MP Nails It

Reminiscent of the 1980's when Militant infected the Labour party, except that this time Momentum have social media.

Monday, 23 September 2019

Easy!

Friday, 20 September 2019

Farage Will Bring About a Corbyn Government

No Coup Here Folks ;)

Thursday, 19 September 2019

Blue On Blue

Monday, 16 September 2019

Liberal Democrats Go Batshit Crazy


The Liberal Democrats appear to have gone batshit crazy, not only do they intend to overturn the result of the referendum they whole heartedly endorse Verhofstadt's barking mad empire building speech!

Friday, 13 September 2019

Utterly Pathetic!

Thursday, 12 September 2019

The "Coup" That Never Was - Geoff Norcott Nails It!

Newsnight Gives a Moron Airtime

Wednesday, 11 September 2019

Court Of Session Rules Prorogation Unlawful

Ignoring whatever the Supreme Court does next week, an appeal has been lodged.

By the time this is sorted out, the Queen will be making her speech anyway!

Boris Conducts Masterclass In Manspreading


Monday, 9 September 2019

Parliament Packs Up For Five Weeks

Friday, 6 September 2019

Corbyn Speaks The Truth


Fair enough, and Corbyn should know what he is talking about because he is estimated to be worth around £3M.

Thursday, 5 September 2019

The "Coup" That Never Was - Labour Blocks Election


Wednesday, 4 September 2019

Rees-Mogg Makes Guest Appearance on The Simpsons


The "Coup" That Never Was - Boris To Call An Election


There has been much frothing of the mouth and general hysteria, both in cyberspace and in real life, about the recent prorogation of Parliament. Certain people, who should know better, would have us believe it was a coup.

Anyhoo, disregarding that hysterical nonsense, Boris has now shot that fox by stating the he will be tabling a motion today to call a general election.

Factoid: it can't be a coup if a general election takes place!

One amusing irony is that Corbyn (who called people to take to the streets to protest against the "coup") is now balking at the thought of a general election; and insists that legislation is first passed to guarantee that a no deal Brexit is blocked, before he will back an election.

Tuesday, 3 September 2019

Lee's Theatrical Defection

Irony Klaxon - "Democracy" Blocks Election

Farewell Sir Nicholas?


Monday, 2 September 2019

General Election Coming


My spidey sense tells me that a general election is in the offing.

The question is, will it be held before or after 31 October?

Wednesday, 28 August 2019

The Queen's Speech October 14 - Well Then!

 
Nothing unusual here, except that in order for the Queen's Speech (ie the opening of a new parliament) to be held, the current parliament must be prorogued.

By happenstance, this gives the Brexit "rebel alliance" little time for mischief making.

I predict a wee bit of a row over this :) 
 

Wednesday, 21 August 2019

Bloody Hell!

Thursday, 15 August 2019

Corbyn Applies For The Job of PM

Does he not understand that if he wins a vote of no confidence, Boris doesn't have to resign as PM and can call an election on his terms?

Another small point, there is no way even the most rebellious Tory rebels will side with him if he insists on being leader.

A cynic might suggest that Corbyn is deliberately ensuring that we leave with no deal.

Wednesday, 14 August 2019

LibLab Pact Sans Corbyn?

But what will Jeremy say????????????

Tuesday, 13 August 2019

The Queen Is Right - The Political Class Has Failed

Hardly an effective political counterargument against Boris's policies!

Monday, 12 August 2019

Lucas Is Delusional


This is of course delusional nonsense. 

Any vote of no confidence can be ignored by the PM, as he doesn't have to resign. He can then call a general election after 31 October, or indeed before, as Brexit is set to happen without the further approval of parliament. 

Ironically, had these idiots voted for May's deal they wouldn't be facing this now. 

Parliament brought this upon itself!

Hammond Loses His Honour

Thursday, 8 August 2019

Labour Membership Falls

Whilst the membership has fallen, Labour still has a very large membership.

Wednesday, 7 August 2019

Sturgeon Nails It!

Friday, 2 August 2019

Brecon By-election

A far better showing by the Tories than expected, given they let their disgraced former MP stand again for the seat (in the sure expectation he would lose).

Tuesday, 30 July 2019

Campbell Nukes Corbyn


Alistair Campbell, the former No 10 director of communications under Tony Blair, has said he no longer wishes to be a Labour member, warning that Jeremy Corbyn is poised to lose the next election against Boris Johnson and destroy the party “as a political force capable of winning power”.

In a letter to Corbyn, quoted by the Guardian, he said:
The culture you have helped to create has made the party one that I feel no longer truly represents my values, or the hopes I have for Britain.

I see no strategy in place that remotely meets the electoral or policy challenges ahead. On the contrary, in so far as I ascertain a strategy at all, it is one that looks more designed to lose. I fear the country may already have decided that it does not intend to make you prime minister.”
This is designed to push Labour to realise that it must ditch Corbyn for its sake, and the sake of the country. All very well and good. However, as long as the infection known as Momentum holds sway Corbyn will not be moved.

Monday, 29 July 2019

Is Boris Trying To Emulate Prince Hal?



I know you all, and will awhile uphold
The unyoked humour of your idleness.
Yet herein will I imitate the sun,
Who doth permit the base contagious clouds
To smother up his beauty from the world,
That when he please again to be himself,
Being wanted, he may be more wondered at
By breaking through the foul and ugly mists
Of vapours that did seem to strangle him.
If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work;
But when they seldom come, they wished-for come,
And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
So, when this loose behaviour I throw off
And pay the debt I never promisèd,
By how much better than my word I am,
By so much shall I falsify men’s hopes;
And like bright metal on a sullen ground,
My reformation, glitt’ring o’er my fault,
Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
I’ll so offend to make offence a skill,
Redeeming time when men think least I will.

Anti Leak Directive Leaked

Thursday, 25 July 2019

Has Boris Inhaled His Own Legend?

It is for sure that Boris, in many quarters, is starting from a very low expectation base.

Whilst he can talk the talk, let us see if he can also walk the walk!

Wednesday, 24 July 2019

Corbyn To Propose Motion of No Confidence After Brexit

Hunt on The Brink

Tuesday, 23 July 2019

Boris's Kingdom of Dust


As Boris waits in the wings on the cusp of being crowned king of the Tories and PM, his enemies are waiting to pounce, indeed one (Duncan) tried a pounce yesterday but was rebuffed by The Speaker who pointed out it was for the opposition to call for votes of no confidence, not MPs in the same party!

Thus Boris's enemies are not facing him on the benches opposite, but will be sitting behind him.

Where does this leave Boris and the country?

We will face a general election before October, as his own party will conspire to bring him down.

David Gauke Joins The LibDems

Monday, 22 July 2019

Rats Abandon Ship


In order to avoid being fired, a swath of minister will resign before Boris is crowned king of the Tories. 

Then off to oblivion for them!

Boris's honeymoon period ends before it begins.

Friday, 19 July 2019

Boris Looking For Protection


Thursday, 18 July 2019

Tories Queuing Up To Help Hammond Move Out


He won't be missed!


Friday, 12 July 2019

Boris Wins 12 Days Early


IF the polls are accurate, and it's a big IF, then Boris has won.

Thursday, 11 July 2019

Westminster's Bullying Culture

As per the report into bullying and harassment of MP's parliamentary staff by Gemma White QC:
"Some staff of Members of Parliament are subject to an unacceptable risk of bullying and harassment, including sexual harassment, at work. Most Members of Parliament treat their staff with dignity and respect but the problem of bullying and harassment is sufficiently widespread to require an urgent collective response."

“I just want to say that during my over-30-years’ association with the Houses of Parliament I did not encounter anything remotely like bullying and harassment on anyone’s part and have been very surprised to know it has happened.The MP I worked for I found extremely efficient, clever and a good employer in every way.”

#CableGate - Kim Resigns, Boris Blamed and May Seeks To Poison The Well


Well it was all go yesterday Kim Darroch resigned and the media (as is their style) decided it was all Boris's fault.

Well whilst he didn't exactly give fulsome backing to Darroch, Darroch's position was untenable given that Trump had banned him from all future functions. My advice to the media is that whilst it is clear most of you loath Boris, you really ought to try grasp the fact that the enemy in this particular case is not Boris but the person who leaked the cables.

In the meantime, never one to miss an opportunity to poison the well it seems that Theresa May is seeking to appoint Darroch's successor!

Wednesday, 10 July 2019

#CableGate - Prime Suspects


In no particular order:

1 Trump

2 Darroch

3 May

4 Putin

John Major Threatens To Take Boris To Court

The land of hypotheticals knows no bounds!

Tuesday, 9 July 2019

Trump Severs Diplomatic Relations With Britain - #CableGate


In a busy couple of Tweets, responding to #CableGate, President Trump lambasted Theresa May and her handling of Brexit and then for good measure severed diplomatic relations with Britain....and it was only Monday!


I wonder what the rest of the week holds for us?

Wrt #CableGate the government is now looking at a hostile foreign power as being the cause of the leak, maybe so, or maybe look to the the list of other suspects I compiled yesterday (including Trump himself)!

The media is now asking how a future Prime Minister should handle Trump. The answer is simple, apply the Disraeli technique he used with royalty, namely applying flattery with a trowel. It works for Kim Jong-un, it most certainly should work for Boris! 

Monday, 8 July 2019

The Ambassador's Cables - #CableGate


Sir Kim Darroch's secret cables to the Foreign Office, giving his views of the Trump administration, have been leaked en masse to a tabloid.

The contents of the cables are perfectly acceptable, as ambassadors are meant to report their views and opinions. However, what is not acceptable is the fact that these secret communications have leaked.

The questions are as follows:

1 Who leaked them?

2 Why are they leaked now?

3 What game is being played here?

The theories:

1 Trump leaked in order to remove Durroch and replace him with Farage.

2 A supporter of Farage in the FO leaked them, for the reason above.

3 Number 10 leaked them, in order to conduct a scorched earth policy and wreck any chances of the USA helping Britain with a fast track no deal Brexit trade agreement.

4 A foreign agency leaked them, just for fun.

5 Boris or an associate leaked them, in order to pave the way for Farage to be ambassador and seal an deal with the Brexit Party.

Anyone have any other theories?

Friday, 5 July 2019

The Intelligence Men Blocked Boris


Another example of the control freakery of the current occupant of No 10!

Thursday, 4 July 2019

Tally-ho!


The Boris Effect Boosts Tories


Wednesday, 3 July 2019

MPs Really Can Be Thick!