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The PalArse of Westminster

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Exposing the hypocrisy, greed and incompetence of our "respected" elected political "elite".

Thursday, 30 June 2022

Labour Promises Champagne For Everyone

 

Tuesday, 28 June 2022

A NIP in The Air


 

Despite the huffing and puffing from political activists posing as journalists (naming no names), the Northern Ireland Protocol Bill was passed its second reading in the Commons last night, without a single Tory voting against it.

Friday, 24 June 2022

Tories Lose Two By-elections and Party Chairman


 

Hot on the heels of the loss of the two by-elections, party chairman Oliver Dowden resigned at 05.30.

The Tories need to remember that whilst ditching Boris might provide a short term theoretical uptick, until they resort to Tory policies eg low taxes, abandon net zero etc they won't win the next election.

Thursday, 23 June 2022

Bye-Election Day?


 

Two by-elections are being held today, in which the Tories are expected to lose.

By happenstance, Boris is out of the country for the next 8 days.

Tuesday, 21 June 2022

The Elephant Trap


 

Whether Labour or the unions realise it, or want to realise it, any planned "Summer of Discontent" will play directly into Boris's hands and he will use it as an excuse to hold a snap general election before the year is out.

Were Labour and the unions to apply some common sense they might avoid this elephant trap.

Thursday, 16 June 2022

Geidt It? Got It? Good!

 

Thoughts and prayers with Brand who was not first to leak this, as he is currently vacationing in Rwanda.

Wednesday, 15 June 2022

Knives Out for The Bishops

 


It seems that the bishops, as a result of their headbutting the government over Rwanda, may find themselves kicked out of the House of Lords.

After that, isn't it time that the church paid tax?

Thursday, 9 June 2022

Housing

via Gfycat

Today Boris is expected to announce that benefit claimants will be able to use welfare cash to obtain and sustain mortgages, in a bid to get more people on the housing ladder. 

This is an "interesting" proposal:

1 Does that mean the banks etc are on board with this?

2 Will the government provide a guarantee to banks etc in the event of default?

3 If this come into fruition it will increase demand in an already supply short market.

The supply of housing, in areas where people can and want to live, is short. It may be an idea to try to balance this proposal with supply side stimuli as well.

Wednesday, 8 June 2022

The Rake's Progress

The Guardian notes that some Tory rebels are mulling “vote strikes” to block government business. 

“One likened the situation the prime minister faced to a scene from The Simpsons, in which the character Sideshow Bob is encircled by rakes and continually hit by them as he steps in different directions.” 

It is utterly absurd for MPs, who allegedly respect democracy, to actively work against democracy when a vote doesn't go their way!

Tuesday, 7 June 2022

Pithy

Here We Are Then...

 

A house divided will fall!

Monday, 6 June 2022

The Day My Number Came Up


 

The threshold  of 54 has been reached, and a vote will be held this evening.

If Boris survives, the rules will be changed so that he can be challenged in less than a year.


Monday, 30 May 2022

The Empire Strikes Back - Possible Return To Imperial Measures


 

The media wet itself last week over the alleged proposal by Boris to return to Imperial Measures.

One small fly in their collective hysteria, Boris is calling for a review to see if people want to return to Imperial. This is not the same as definitely returning to Imperial Measures!

Monday, 23 May 2022

Gray Lady Down


 

As the publication of Sue Gray's report (with pictures) is imminent, certain sections of the media (mainly those political activists posing as journalists Brand, Crerar, Coates etc) are reaching peak hysteria levels.

For why?

It has dawned on them that Boris won't be kicked out by Tory MPs and, as such, they are now trying to disparage Gray's yet to be published report, on the grounds that it may not be impartial.

Meanwhile the rest of the country is more concerned with trying to pay for food and energy!


Thursday, 19 May 2022

No More Fines For Boris and Carrie


 

Thoughts and prayers for Brand, Crera, Peston and the other assorted political activists posing as journalists who will now have nothing to write about!

Met Finally Ends #PartyGate Investigation


 

The Met Police have now concluded their investigations into #PartyGate. 

They have made 126 referrals for fines in total. 53 were men and 73 were women, some received more than one fine.

As yet Boris has not received another fine.

Monday, 16 May 2022

A Serving of Fudge?


 

Boris Johnson is in Belfast this morning amid the disagreements between the U.K. and the EU, and indeed between him and Liz Truss.

Boris will hold talks with the party leaders in Northern Ireland and urge the DUP in particular to “get back to work” and form an executive. 

He has pre-empted today’s visit with a 2,000 word article in the Belfast Telegraph that sets out in detail the U.K.’s objections to how the protocol has been implemented, insisting it would be “wrong” to scrap the whole thing, but vowing to pursue changes.

Patrick Maguire has a thread on some key passages, concluding: 

Regardless of whether you’re prepared to read it (or believe it was written in) good faith — or think it’s impossible to square with this government’s actions on NI — it’s arguably a weightier and more lucid exposition of No. 10 thinking on the Union than you’d expect from this PM.”

Thursday, 12 May 2022

Number 10 Scores a Century

 


The Met have said that they have issued another 50 #PartyGate fines to Number 10 (Boris is not on the list this time), bringing the total to 100.

Monday, 9 May 2022

Hoisted With His Own Petard


 

Having banged on about Boris's rule breaking for months now, it is more than ironic that Starmer also broke the rules and attempted to cover up that breach.

Starmer has now pulled out of a planned speaking event today.

The truly shocking aspect of the last few months is that the media, the Tory Party and the Labour Party have expended vast amounts of time and effort obsessing about covid rules breaches, when they should be devoting their energies to more important matters eg inflation, NHS, housing, law and order etc etc.

Thursday, 5 May 2022

Local Elections

 


Many parts of England are voting in the local elections today.

It is expected that the Tories will lose between 500-800 seats.

Tuesday, 3 May 2022

The Many Gateways To Westminster

 

#PartyGate

#CakeGate

#BeerGate

#CurryGate

#TractorGate

#GrowlerGate

#LorraineGate

Thursday, 28 April 2022

#PornGate Latest


 

Those of you wondering who the Tory MP is who has been watching porn in the Chamber (in full view of other MPs), will probably have to wait until Sunday before he is named in the press.

Wednesday, 27 April 2022

Boris To Privatise The Arse Off The Passport Office

 Boris has threatened to privatise the arse off the Passport Office, if it doesn't improve its performance.

Monday, 25 April 2022

The French Presidential Vote - Beware The Media Spin

Contrary to what those with little understanding of politics would have you believe, Macron's victory is not a crushing defeat for Le Pen.

She has been increasing her share of the vote in each Presidential election:

2021 - 20%

2017 - 34%

2022 - 41%

Friday, 22 April 2022

The Absurd Theatrics of #PartyGate


 

Yesterday Parliament approved a third probe into partygate, this time via the Privileges Committee.

Whilst Starmer and the media are doubtless feeling very smug about this, the wasting of more time debating and investigating what is already being investigated does the people of Britain no good whatsoever.

Those who want to hold the government's feet to the fire should be focussing on a whole host of issues that affect real people including, but not limited to:

- the absurdity of the lockdown/mask rules, and how they caused more harm than good

- inflation

- the war in Ukraine

- migration

- NHS backlog

- housing

- law and order

- education etc etc.

These are the issues that our "esteemed" parliamentarians ought to be focussing on, instead of the theatrics of partygate!

Thursday, 21 April 2022

The Hancock Diaries


 

Former Health Secretary Matt Hancock will be publishing his diaries later this year. 

The book (title TBC) will be based on “contemporaneous accounts” of the pandemic, and reveal “for the first time” the critical moments in the battle against COVID. 

He will be donating the royalties to NHS charities.

Irony Klaxon!

 


Wednesday, 20 April 2022

Ukraine Names Street After Boris


 

Away from the theatrics of Westminster, in a move guaranteed to antagonise certain sections of the British media and others, Ukraine has named a street after Boris.

The council in Fontanka, on the outskirts of Odesa, issued an order to rename Mayakovsky Street as "Boris Johnson Street" instead.

It stated: 

“The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom is one of the most principled opponents of the Russian invasion, a leader in sanctions on Russia and defence support for Ukraine.

Rename Mayakovsky Street to Boris Johnson Street.”

The news was announced online by a council official who said: 

“We have new heroes.”

Tuesday, 19 April 2022

The Roll Call of Shame

Thursday, 14 April 2022

Come Fly With Me!


 

Boris will announce a new strategy today to try to break the people smuggling gangs of Calais.

Male economic migrants arriving in the UK, will be flown to Rwanda to have their applications processed.

As to whether this will break the people smuggling gangs, only time will tell. However, it does provide some "red meat" to those who have been wondering if this is a Conservative government.

Wednesday, 13 April 2022

Boris and Rishi Fined


 

Boris and Rishi received FPNs yesterday for the one event that they didn't actually expect to be fined for.

Not least because the Times reported on it the day after it occurred in 2020, without anyone so much as batting an eyelid!

Given the "methodology" and snail's pace of the Met, it is entirely possible that this won't be the only fine levied on Boris.

Tuesday, 12 April 2022

Monday, 11 April 2022

True Brit!

 


Friday, 1 April 2022

You Spin Me Round - U-Turn Within a U-Turn

The government is in chaos over its pledge to legislate against LGBT conversion therapy after performing two U-turns within the space of a few hours yesterday.

Friday, 25 March 2022

The Enemy Within


 

Yesterday a clip was widely circulated on social media to frame a narrative of Boris Johnson being snubbed at the NATO summit.

Certain sections of the media and various "celebrities", with an axe to grind against the Tories/Boris, chose to use it to frame their own political narrative.

The list of shame includes, but was not limited to:

- The Independent

- The BBC

- Channel 4 News

- The Mirror

- Nigel Farage

- Deborah Meaden etc

Danny Baker, to his credit, realised he had been duped and apologised:


Here is the reality 

The media do themselves and the country no favours by deliberately misleading people in this way, especially when we are on the verge of war with Russia.

Thursday, 24 March 2022

Boris Leads The Free World

 


Rishi's Thin Gruel Satisfies No One


 

Rishi's thin gruel has not pleased anyone (including the papers and Tory MPs)

- Fuel duty cut by 5p 

- the threshold at which people start to pay NI will rise by £3,000 to £12,570

- basic rate of income tax to be cut from 20p to 19p by the end of this parliament

- VAT will be removed from green home renovations eg heat pumps/solar panels. 

All this to cover the largest fall in living standards since the mid 50's!

The cost of the lockdowns and chaotic energy markets are coming home to roost.

As to whether more should have been done to help those facing a bleak financial year is open to debate. However, when the government proactively makes things worse (eg via green taxes and NI rises) it should be well and truly lambasted.

The fact is that the British state needs a massive overhaul viz:

- the civil service is next to useless, and is incapable of handling real time events and crises.

- the Met has reverted to the bad old days of the 70's wrt corruption and loss of trust of the public

- our energy policy is an utter shambles (a mishmash of wannabe green initiatives that will be paid for by the hapless taxpayers)

- education is chaotic and politicised in the classroom

- defence has been cut to the bone, at a time when it needs to be ramped up

- the NHS is a failed organisation not fit for purpose

- migration controls are non existent etc

Quite simply, the Tories are failing to act like Conservatives at a time when people desperately need them to act like Conservatives!

Wednesday, 23 March 2022

Angela Rayner's Car Crash Interview

 

Tuesday, 8 March 2022

Zelensky To Address The Commons at 17:00


 

President Zelensky of Ukraine will address the Commons at 17:00 today.

His speech will be shown on screens installed in the chamber, and some 500 headsets will be handed out so MPs can hear a live translation. 

Speaker Lindsay Hoyle says:

 “Every parliamentarian wants to hear directly from the president, who will be speaking to us live from Ukraine, so this is an important opportunity for the House.”

Bercow Banned for Life From HoC




 


 

Monday, 7 March 2022

Net Zero Volte Farce Expected


 

By the pricking of my thumbs I suspect that we will witness a net zero about face in the coming days!

Thursday, 3 March 2022

Scotland Drops The Saltire

 

Boris Adopts Stalinist Measures To Seize Oligarchs' Properties


 

It seems that Michael Gove is drawing up plans for the government to seize oligarchs’ homes without paying them compensation. 

Boris is supportive of this proposal.

It will be interesting to see how this pans out!

Wednesday, 2 March 2022

Beware The Gung-ho Media Calls For a No Fly Zone


 

The media have had a jolly old time over the last couple of years what with:

- scaremongering over Covid, 

- instigating shortages (eg of toilet rolls, petrol, etc), 

- exaggerating lorry driver queues/shortages, 

- conducting a vendetta against Boris over alleged drinks/cakes etc.

Now they have the Ukraine situation to really get their teeth into, and top of their list is their demand for a "no fly" zone.

Here is why they are deluded and wrong:

1 A "no fly" zone would put NATO on a war footing with a  nuclear armed superpower.

2 A "no fly" zone would mean that no combat aircraft whatsoever could fly in the zone apart from NATO, that would mean no Ukrainian fighters in the air. Which would give Russia the advantage on the land, as the Ukrainians wouldn't be able to bomb the Russian land forces.

Even Sultana realises it's stupid and dangerous!!

Tuesday, 1 March 2022

What The West Will/Will Not Do

 

Monday, 28 February 2022

Boris Receives Standing Ovation From Ukrainians in London

Friday, 25 February 2022

Ukraine

 


Wednesday, 23 February 2022

Sanctions and The Baying Mob


 

MPs on both sides of the house, and the rabid media are baying for more aggressive sanctions against Russia.

All very well and easy to call for. However, the mob needs to calm itself and note the following:

1 In order for the West to appear united, the sanctions imposed (albeit step by step) need to be imposed in unison. Were the UK to go lock stock and smoking barrel it will expose the lack of unity in the West about what to do.

2 Germany (despite postponing Nord Stream 2) is still buying oil and gas from Russia.

3 Putin is ready for sanctions.

4 Sanctions aren't very effective. Were sanctions effective, then North Korea would be a democracy and it wouldn't have nuclear weapons.

Tuesday, 22 February 2022

UK Sanctions Statement at 12.30 Today


 

Monday, 21 February 2022

Saj and Rishi Butt Heads Over £2BN Per Week "Free" Tests

 


Thursday, 17 February 2022

United We Fall!

 


Wednesday, 16 February 2022

Delusional SNP Bollocks!

 


Pensions are paid out of current tax receipts from those in work.

Were Scotland to leave the UK, it would have to fund its pensions immediately from its own tax receipts.

Friday, 11 February 2022

Khan Gets Dick Out!


 

It is not without irony that Labour Mayor Khan has forced the resignation of the first woman and LGBT head of the Met, over allegations about the treatment of women and gay men.

Wednesday, 9 February 2022

2024 is Not Good Enough Saj!

Sajid Javid has laid bare the paucity of the plans to eliminate the NHS Covid backlog (despite the NI rise in April), apparently the backlog will continue to rise and won't peak until 2024!

There are many questions arising from this including, but not limited to:

1 What is the point of raising takes if the money is going to be wasted on a half baked plan?

2 Why is the plan so shit?

The fundamental problem facing both the Tories and Labour is that the NHS simply isn't working as effectively as other health systems.

Both parties are trapped by the myopia that the NHS is the only system that they can work with. 

The Tories because if they touch it they will be accused of privatising it, and Labour because it is their baby and they are ideologically incapable of ever admitting it is now past its sell by date!

Tuesday, 8 February 2022

Rabble Harass Starmer and Lammy

Outside parliament just after 17:00 yesterday, Starmer and Lammy were swarmed by a group of aggressive protesters whose main gripe appeared to be about COVID vaccines and restrictions. 

The Sun’s Jack Elsom was an eyewitness and says he heard some of the group shouting about Savile, before Starmer and Lammy were put in a police car as protesters scrapped with the cops. 

Videos posted on Twitter showed unhinged members of the crowd ranting at an undeterred Starmer about “freemasons” and the “new world order,” calling him a “traitor” and a “paedophile protector.” 

The Mirror’s Rachel Wearmouth reports the group was carrying a noose. 

The Metropolitan Police said in a statement: “A man and a woman were arrested at the scene for assault of an emergency worker after a traffic cone was thrown at a police officer.” 

Certain sections of the media, for reasons best know to themselves, focussed purely on the Savile abuse.

Monday, 7 February 2022

Carrie Antoinette - The Dangers of Cake


 

Carrie Johnson has taken a severe beating in the press over the weekend, probably in part somewhat unfairly, and will doubtless be dumped upon again by Cummings in his substack expected later today.

She is not the first spouse of a world leader to be vilified. However, aside from Marie Antoinette, she is one of the rare ones to have been brought down by cake.

That being said, Boris's troubles are of his own making (irrespective of whether Carrie tries to interfere or not). As such the media should concentrate on the key issues that are important, eg inflation, energy, NHS backlog etc.



Friday, 4 February 2022

Boris Channels His Inner Macmillan

 

Despite seeing himself as Churchill, Boris has in fact emulated Macmillan by overseeing the rout of four senior staff yesterday and preparing for a long weekend of bloody assassinations over the next 48 hours or so.

Whether this will work or not remains to be seen.