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The PalArse of Westminster

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Exposing the hypocrisy, greed and incompetence of our "respected" elected political "elite".

Thursday, 9 July 2026

Governed By HR - Burnham's Vision of Rule by Lanyard

 


Burnham, a man with zero vision, has decided that the best way to govern is for every Labour MP to put his/her idea to a committee of lanyard wearing HR types.

This will end in disaster for Burnham, the Labour Party and the country. 

Tuesday, 7 July 2026

Farage To Force By-election

 

Reform state that they will cover the cost of this. 

Labour's Fake Nurse


 

Labour MP Sureena Brackenridge completely fabricated a story about a fake nurse, accompanied by an AI image (see above) and posted it to her social media 

The original post about Maya which was faked has now been deleted. Brackenridge now claims she wasn't trying to deceive anyone!

Is it not ironic that Labour keep claiming it is the far right that post lies and misinformation, yet it seems to be it is their own people who do it? 

Monday, 6 July 2026

Manchesterism Morphs To Mauritiusism - Chagos Surrender Continues



For reasons best known to himself, or rather because Jonathan Powell (a man with questionable links to China) told him so, Burnham will continue with the Chagos surrender.

This will costs taxpayers £47BN, anger Trump and blow up his spending plans.

 


Friday, 3 July 2026

Nandy Flounces Off Twitter In a Huff


 

 Lisa Nandy is flouncing off Twitter and taking her Department of "Culture" with her.

Even Cadwalladr thinks this is bollocks! 

Nandy had no problem using Twitter when it helped Labour get elected. She's posted on it over 10'000 times in total since 2009. 

Now that she is facing scrutiny, she's suddenly decided the platform is the problem. 

It goes without saying that her post announcing her flounce, has of course had the comments turned off!

This is stage one of the government's plans to try to shut Twitter down. 

Wednesday, 1 July 2026

Starmer and Reeves Leave Britain Defenceless


 

STARMER AND REEVES SCRAPE TOGETHER A PATHETIC £15BN FOR DEFENCE WHILE LEAVING BRITAIN COMPLETELY DEFENCELESS — BORDERING ON TREASON!

What a pathetic, spineless shower.

Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves have just announced a whopping £15 billion increase for defence over the next four years. Ooh, get them! The great saviours of the realm!

Except it's well short of the £28 billion the military actually said it needs. There's already a £4 billion unfunded black hole in the plan, and £10 billion of this pathetic package is made up of fantasy cuts to road projects, energy schemes and other initiatives that will magically "never happen" — the usual Labour smoke and mirrors bollocks.

And guess what? Not one single penny has been cut from the bloated welfare budget. Priorities, eh? Keep paying millions not to work, but beg, borrow and rob Peter to pay Paul when it comes to protecting the country.

This isn't a defence boost — it's a surrender document. Our armed forces are hollowed out, recruitment is in the toilet, equipment is obsolete, and these clowns are still prioritising net zero virtue-signalling and unlimited migration over keeping Britain safe.

Their criminal mismanagement of national security borders on treason. While the world gets more dangerous by the day, Starmer and Reeves are busy gutting real projects to pretend they're serious about defence. Absolute frauds.

And poor old Andy Capp Burnham — the man being lined up as the next Saviour of the Red Wall — has been dropped right in the shit. Starmer's left him a stinking £4-5 billion black hole and a half-arsed plan that satisfies nobody. Good luck sorting that mess out, Andy. Maybe you can fund it by appointing more My Little Ponies to the Treasury.

Britain is weaker, poorer and more vulnerable because of this shower. They talk tough on the world stage while leaving our forces naked and our borders wide open.

Disgraceful. Treacherous. Utterly hopeless.


Tuesday, 30 June 2026

Place-Based Cooperation - The Meaningless Phrase From The Working From Home PM In Waiting


 

"Place-based cooperation – the latest buzzphrase from yesterday’s speech by Prime Minister-in-waiting Andy Burnham – is simply the new meaningless slogan of the lanyard-wearing Westminster class.

Burnham promises a grand devolution of power across the UK. Yet Scotland and Wales already stand as cautionary tales of where this path can lead: bloated bureaucracies, poor economic performance and governance failures that England would be unwise to emulate.

Even as senior civil servants work from home, Burnham glossed over the reality. Whitehall will retain control of the issues that matter most to voters. Apart from AI, mass migration, the soaring costs of Net Zero, and defence, central government will continue to dictate:

  • Where asylum seekers are housed and dispersed (“dumped”) in communities
  • Where pylons and wind turbines are imposed on the landscape
  • Where housing for asylum seekers and refugees will be built
  • Taxation policy and overall spending
  • The direction and funding of the NHS
  • National defence and security priorities

In short, the big strategic decisions stay in London. What gets devolved are the messy local consequences and the blame when things go wrong."

Monday, 29 June 2026

Andy's Frit - Refuses To Take Questions


 

Master Communicator Burnham refuses to take any questions at his first press conference.

Thursday, 25 June 2026

Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That

 


If you were such a successful Prime Minter, as you have claimed...

Why have you resigned and why have you 400 knives in your back? 

Tuesday, 23 June 2026

Fake Accent, Fake Name, Fake Oath - Pyla Bird-Leakey (AKA Lara)

 


The SNP's latest MP, stage name "Lara Bird," is a very strange character. Real name Pyla Bird-Leakey; qualified as an English barrister (not a Scottish advocate) and until recently had an English accent.

Crossing her fingers and uttering a rambling pre amble, means that she has not taken the oath. 

The fact that this person is now an MP, tells you everything you need to know about the quality of MPs these days!  

Friday, 19 June 2026

Britain's PM In Waiting


 

As the post Makerfield glow of success fades, and Britain's PM in waiting salivates at the prospect of leading our once great country, he and his acolytes should consider the following:

  • A party of over 400 MPs is not credible if it has to shoe in a candidate from outside of their ranks to fill the non vacant slot of PM.

  • Labour hates Starmer, because he is Starmer. The voters hate Starmer, because of what is happening to the country under a Labour government; changing PM won't halt Britain's collapse, unless the PM changes course.

  • Six months in and the new PM, the Labour party and the country will realise that he is in way over his head. 

Things will become progressively worse! 

 

Wednesday, 17 June 2026

FIFA Tries To Ban English Fans Singing "Keir Starmer's a Wanker!"

 


FIFA TRY TO BAN ENGLISH FANS SINGING "KEIR STARMER'S A WANKER" — GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, YOU CLOWNS!

Oh dear, oh dear. The global footballing elite have really lost the plot this time.

England fans are belting out "Keir Starmer's a wanker!" at the top of their lungs in Tampa Bay, Florida, and across the United States during the World Cup. And what does FIFA do? They throw a massive hissy fit, threaten to kick fans out of stadiums, slap them with fines, and confiscate flags. Because nothing says "the beautiful game" quite like a bunch of Swiss bureaucrats trying to police what English supporters can sing.

Newsflash, FIFA: this isn't your pathetic little European dictatorship.

You're in America. Land of the First Amendment. Where free speech actually means something. Where you can call the President a wanker (and plenty do) without some jumped-up official in a shiny suit dragging you out by the collar. The US Constitution doesn't give a flying toss about your politically correct "no offensive language" rules. You have no jurisdiction over what fans chant on American soil, and the sooner you get that through your thick skulls the better.

These fans aren't hurling racial abuse. They're not inciting violence. They're simply expressing what millions of Brits actually think: that Sir Keir Starmer is a gutless, out-of-touch wanker who's wrecked the country in record time. Football terraces have sung far worse about managers, players and rival fans for decades. Now suddenly it's a human rights crime because it targets Dear Leader?

The sheer arrogance is breathtaking. FIFA wants to import its joyless, authoritarian nonsense to the one place on earth where it will be laughed at and ignored. English fans didn't travel thousands of miles, spend a fortune, and endure this bloated circus just to be told by some pen-pushing globalist what they can and cannot sing.

Keir Starmer's a wanker.
Keir Starmer's a wanker.
Na na na na...

Get used to it, lads. The chant is only getting louder.

FIFA can stick their rules up their arse. The fans will keep singing what they bloody well like.


Friday, 12 June 2026

Starmer Appoints New Purser To The Titanic

 


What utter bollocks! 

Wednesday, 10 June 2026

REEVES BRIBES FIRMS £5K TO HIRE FOREIGNERS

 


REEVES BRIBES FIRMS £5K TO HIRE FOREIGNERS WHILE OVER A MILLION BRITISH KIDS ROT ON THE DOLE!

Unbelievable. Absolutely fucking unbelievable.

While more than one million young British people are NEET — not in education, employment or training — and youth unemployment is climbing towards disgraceful levels, our genius Chancellor Rachel Reeves has decided the answer is to hand British firms five grand a pop to go and hire foreigners instead.

Yes, you read that right. Labour's plan for "growth" is to subsidise companies up to £5,000 per foreign worker (with a cheeky £25k cap per firm) so they can import "high-skilled talent" in tech, life sciences and green energy. Because obviously the best way to help British youngsters struggling to get a foot on the ladder is to actively make it easier and cheaper for bosses to skip them entirely.

This is the same Rachel Reeves who lectures us about "British values" and "opportunity for all." Opportunity for all... except British school-leavers and graduates, apparently. Them she’ll leave to rot on benefits while she rolls out the red carpet and opens the taxpayer wallet for overseas replacements.

Over 1 million young Brits sidelined. More than 700,000 of them outright unemployed. And her solution? Bribe companies to look abroad. Classic Labour. British kids are too expensive, too much hassle, probably not "diverse" enough. Far better to virtue-signal with other people's money and import the "best and brightest" while our own sit on the scrapheap.

This isn't economic strategy — it's national self-sabotage with a side order of betrayal.

British youngsters aren't lazy. They've been failed by a system that prioritises cheap foreign labour, net zero fantasies and every identity politics box-ticking exercise under the sun. Now the Chancellor is literally paying firms to keep failing them.

Sack this woman. Ditch this madness. Put British workers first for once in your miserable, out-of-touch lives.



Monday, 8 June 2026

All Animals Are Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others!


 

 Lammy channels his inner Napoleon from Animal Farm here.

Monday, 1 June 2026

WHO CAN WE TAX IN ORDER TO PAY BENEFITS TO OTHERS?


 

 This country is so fucked!

Andy Capp Burnham Reveals His New Commie Fisting Logo


 

Who would thought that Wolfie Smith from the 70's would become a role model for Capp, who purports to be a serious 21st century politician?

The Dead Hand of Nationalisation Strikes Again - And So Swiftly Too!

 


Saturday, 30 May 2026

Burnham Wants To Appoint My little Pony as His Chancellor



 

For reasons best known to himself, Burnham wants to appoint My Little Pony (Louise Haigh) as his Chancellor. The idea that Andy Burnham could put Louise Haigh in charge of the Treasury is truly disgraceful.

The Chancellor is not just another cabinet minister. It is one of the most important positions in government, carrying responsibility for the nation’s finances, economic stability and international credibility. Whoever occupies the role must command trust.

That is precisely why the prospect of Louise Haigh becoming Chancellor is so alarming.

Haigh resigned from government after it emerged that she had pleaded guilty in 2014 to fraud by false representation relating to a mobile phone incident, receiving a criminal conviction and a conditional discharge. She admitted the offence in court and was forced to leave the Cabinet when the matter became public. 

For most people, a criminal conviction for fraud would raise serious questions about suitability for high office. For someone being considered for Chancellor of the Exchequer — the person responsible for overseeing hundreds of billions of pounds of public money — those questions become impossible to ignore.


Friday, 29 May 2026

France Solves its Illegals' Problem By Designating Britain as Rwanda


 

In a brilliant move, France has designated Britain as Rwanda. Thus allowing it to dump all of its illegals here.

The problem for Britain being:

1 France hasn't officially told us this yet.

2 Britain is paying France to dump its illegals here. 

Wednesday, 27 May 2026

Blair Rips Miliband a New One

 


Thursday, 21 May 2026

Starmer Will Go To Makerfield To "Help" Burnham!

 


Jess Phillips Calls Starmer a Cockroach

 

Wednesday, 20 May 2026

Miliband's Oil Ban Funds Russia's War


 

Miliband's ban on North Sea oil has meant that, in order to ensure we have enough oil, we are lifting sanctions on Putin's oil and buying that instead of drilling for our own oil!

Sack the bastard and ditch Net Zero! 

Tuesday, 19 May 2026

Burnham - Labour's Chosen One

 


In a stunning display of talent depth, Labour's formidable army of over 400 MPs has scoured its benches and discovered, to everyone's mild surprise, that not a single one is up to the job of Prime Minister. After months of hopeful shuffling and desperate polling, the party has been forced to eye up non-MPs like some sort of political Deliveroo order. 

Step forward Andy Burnham, the Mayor of Greater Manchester, who now finds himself in the curious position of being imported as the great white hope—because when your own parliamentary supergroup can't produce a single credible leader, the obvious solution is to recruit from outside the building, like a football club signing a veteran striker on a free transfer to stave off relegation. 

Democracy in action, folks!

Wouldn't it be funny if he lost? 

Monday, 18 May 2026

Burnham's FU Message To The Voters of Makerfield

 


Burnham's slogan for this election is "For Us" (FU), here's what he really means as per Nickie Brown:

Let’s have a think about what’s happening in Makerfield. 

This by election is costing taxpayers £226,208. And it’s happening because a Labour MP chose to step aside to make room for Andy Burnham’s leadership ambitions. 

He admitted that himself. But here’s some more interesting figures. 

If Burnham wins, he’ll have to resign as Greater Manchester Mayor too. That triggers another election costing taxpayers around £4.7 million. So in total, nearly £5 million of public money could be spent not on improving services, fixing roads, supporting communities or helping struggling families, but on political career ambitions. 

 People are struggling with bills, crime, NHS waiting lists and communities being ignored. 

Yet Westminster politics still seems focused on who climbs the ladder next. 

That’s what frustrates people. Not democracy. 

Political games made to look like democracy.

Tuesday, 12 May 2026

He's Refusing To Go!


 

A madman will sooner burn the country down and rule over a kingdom of ashes, rather than give up power!

Monday, 11 May 2026

Advice To Angela Rayner


 

When using AI to write your political statements and interventions, proof read them first.

Unless that is you really do intend to abolish freeholds? 

Saturday, 9 May 2026

A Tale of Two Keirs - The Alpha and The Omega of Labour


   
 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of the red flag, it was the age of the red wall, it was the epoch of cloth caps, it was the epoch of sharp suits, it was the season of hope for the working man, it was the season of despair for the working man, it was the spring of socialism, it was the winter of centrism, we had everything before us in 1893, we had nothing before us in 2024, we were all going direct to the promised land, we were all going direct the other way — in short, the period was so far like the present period that some of its noisiest authorities in Islington and in the old mining towns insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

There were two Keirs, the one the alpha and the other the omega of the Labour Party; the one who lit the fire, and the one who built its funeral pyre.

Friday, 8 May 2026

Labour's Fucked - Starmer Vows To Double Down!


 

What Starmer, and indeed his colleagues who hate him, fail to realise is that it's the policies of net zero, unlimited illegal immigration, ever increasing taxes, a ballooning welfare state etc that have destroyed Labour's voting base (coupled with an incompetent widely despised PM).

Going harder and faster, or replacing Starmer won't change anything unless the policies that people despise are ditched! 

 

Thursday, 7 May 2026

Happy Potholes' and Bin Collections' Day

 

Use your vote wisely, so that the potholes in your constituency (and not Gaza) are fixed!

Friday, 24 April 2026

Starmer's State Enforced Killing Bill Dies - Despite Attempts by Starmer To Intimidate Labour Peers

 

Hermer Reported To Bar Standards Board For Serious Professional Misconduct

 



Thursday, 23 April 2026

Starmer & Hermer – The Traitorous Duo Who Hunted Our Own Soldiers While Knowing the Claims Were Filthy Lies


 

Listen up, you spineless, virtue-signalling Westminster reptiles.

While brave British soldiers were out in the dust and danger of Iraq, risking life and limb for this country, two ambitious human rights lawyers back home were busy sharpening their knives. One of them is now our Prime Minister. The other is his Attorney General. And together, Keir Starmer and Richard Hermer helped unleash one of the most disgusting witch-hunts against our own veterans this nation has ever seen.

Let’s call it what it is: betrayal dressed up as “justice.”

Back in 2007, Starmer didn’t just dip his toe in. He worked for free — oh yes, the noble warrior insisted on doing it pro bono — alongside his mate Richard Hermer and the now-disgraced Phil Shiner. They pushed a landmark legal case that extended European human rights law into active war zones. The result? Hundreds of British troops dragged through years of investigations, interrogations, and public smears over alleged war crimes.

One soldier in particular — Sgt Richie Catterall — had already been cleared twice of murder. Twice. But that wasn’t good enough for Starmer and Hermer. They personally urged the courts to order yet another inquiry, sneering that the previous military investigations were “perfunctory” and “wholly inadequate.” They got their wish. The man was hounded for another 13 years. His life was wrecked. He became suicidal. All based on claims that later collapsed.

But here’s where it gets truly sickening.

Recent revelations show that Richard Hermer knew — or was explicitly warned — that many of the allegations against our troops were lies. Deliberate, fabricated, bogus Iraqi claims. Emails and documents now in the public domain prove he was alerted to inconsistencies, to witnesses who couldn’t keep their stories straight, to evidence that stank of fabrication. Yet he ploughed on anyway. He backed the claims. He helped publicise them. He pursued compensation and fresh inquiries against decorated British soldiers.

This wasn’t ignorance. This was ideological fanaticism. Human rights lawyer syndrome at its most poisonous — where foreign accusers are automatically believed, and our own fighting men are presumed guilty until proven innocent a dozen times over.

And who was right there with him? Keir Starmer. The man who now stands in Downing Street pretending to “support our troops.” The same man who, as soon as he got into power, moved to scrap protections for Northern Ireland veterans — opening the door once again to vexatious prosecutions against elderly ex-soldiers who served during the Troubles. While IRA terrorists walk free or get comfortable pensions, our boys face the prospect of being hauled into court in their 70s and 80s.

This is two-tier justice in its purest, most revolting form.

One rule for the terrorists and foreign claimants who hate Britain. Another rule for the men who wore the uniform and actually defended this country.

Starmer and Hermer didn’t just enable this. They were architects of it. They built their glittering careers on the back of smearing British soldiers. Starmer’s “pro bono” work wasn’t charity — it was career advancement. Hermer’s dogged pursuit of dodgy claims wasn’t principled — it was reckless and, in light of the warnings he received, borderline contemptible.

Now Hermer sits as Attorney General, the government’s top legal advisor. The man who knew the al-Sweady claims and similar accusations were built on sand still has the power to direct prosecutions. Think about that. The same bloke who helped hound innocent veterans is now in charge of deciding who gets pursued by the state.

This isn’t oversight. This is a national disgrace.

Our soldiers didn’t sign up to fight under rules that treat every split-second battlefield decision like a Sunday afternoon courtroom debate. They didn’t risk everything so that ambulance-chasing lawyers and ideologues could turn war into a human rights lawsuit factory.

The message Starmer and Hermer have sent to every serving member of our Armed Forces is crystal clear: we don’t have your back. We’ll throw you to the wolves the moment it suits our international lawyer friends or our desire to look “ethical” on the world stage.

To every veteran who was dragged through hell because of these people: you deserved better. You deserved leaders who understood that fighting wars isn’t the same as filing paperwork in The Hague. You deserved gratitude, not suspicion.

To Starmer and Hermer: history will record you as the pair who chose activist lawfare over loyalty to the men who kept this country safe. You didn’t serve Britain. You served your own egos and your precious human rights ideology.

And the British public are waking up to it.

Enough is enough. Protect our veterans. Stop the witch-hunts. Sack the ideologues who treat our soldiers as the villains.

Britain’s fighting men and women deserve leaders who put them first — not lawyers who put foreign complaints and European courts first.

The shame belongs to Starmer and Hermer. The debt of gratitude belongs to the soldiers they tried to break.