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The PalArse of Westminster

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Exposing the hypocrisy, greed and incompetence of our "respected" elected political "elite".

Friday, 21 August 2026

Brash, Cretinous Moron!

 


Labour backbencher Jonathan Brash has deleted an X post which read:

“Public sector workers use their income to pay FOR the private sector. The state is one of the biggest procurers of the private sector. It wouldn’t exist without tax payers. People creating the divide between public and private genuinely don’t understand how an economy works.”

We are governed by retards! 

Wednesday, 19 August 2026

On The Buses With Burnham

 


Andy Burnham: The Bus King of Toytown Who Can’t See Past the Yellow Paint

Andy Burnham has spent years treating Britain’s buses as if they were the answer to every national crisis. As Mayor of Greater Manchester he turned the Bee Network into a personal brand, complete with bright yellow liveries, worker-bee logos, and endless photo opportunities standing next to shiny new vehicles. Now, having somehow ascended to higher office, the fixation continues unabated. £2 fare caps, 24/7 free travel for disabled pass holders, more franchising, more “blueprint for Britain” rhetoric. Buses, buses, and more buses.

Meanwhile he has discovered TikTok. Vertical videos, influencer collabs, casual chats into a phone, meme-friendly clips of the Prime Minister in the driver’s seat announcing the next stop is cheaper fares. It is politics as content creation: low-stakes, shareable, and carefully curated to look like a man of the people who “gets it.” The effect is less statesman and more mayor of Toytown, endlessly polishing the model railway while the real country burns.

This is not harmless localism. It is a form of political displacement activity. The issues that actually determine whether Britain remains a high-trust, prosperous, coherent country receive far less of Burnham’s visible energy.

Illegal migration continues to place heavy pressure on housing, public services, and social cohesion. Small-boat arrivals, asylum backlogs, and the downstream costs of failed integration do not disappear because a bus fare has been capped at £2. Yet the public messaging from Burnham has often been muted, managerial, or focused on dispersal rather than deterrence and control.

The costs of Net Zero policies remain largely unexamined in the same breathless tones reserved for bus franchising. Household energy bills, industrial competitiveness, and the reliability of the grid are treated as secondary concerns while the political class congratulates itself on climate targets. Approving or rejecting new oil and gas licences is a serious trade-off between security of supply, jobs, and emissions. It deserves more than the occasional side-note in a transport-heavy agenda.

Rising crime, particularly knife crime and the erosion of street safety in many towns and cities, does not yield to better bus routes. Bond markets are not calmed by yellow buses. Unemployment and the stubbornly high number of people outside the labour force will not be solved by cheaper single fares. Inflation and the cost-of-living pressures that genuinely hurt working households require harder choices on tax, spending, regulation, and energy policy than another round of transport gimmicks.

None of this is to say public transport is irrelevant. Reliable, affordable buses matter for people who rely on them. Greater Manchester’s experiment produced measurable increases in patronage and satisfaction for some users. Expanding successful local models can be legitimate. The problem is proportion and priority. Burnham’s political identity has become so tightly bound to the Bee Network that it crowds out the larger, harder, less photogenic questions.

A serious national leader would treat buses as one tool among many, not the centrepiece of a governing philosophy. Instead we get the spectacle of a politician who appears most comfortable when the cameras are rolling on a yellow double-decker or a vertical video. The country faces structural challenges that cannot be solved by franchising schedules and TikTok algorithms. Continuing to prioritise the former while largely performing the latter is not pragmatic northern pragmatism. It is avoidance dressed up as delivery.

Britain does not need a mayor of Toytown with a national platform. It needs adults willing to confront the awkward, expensive, and politically difficult realities that actually determine the country’s trajectory. So far, the buses keep rolling and the hard issues keep waiting.

Tuesday, 18 August 2026

Farming Minister Faints 'at Sight of Meat'

 


Stephen Morgan, the farming minister, fainted 'at sight of meat' while touring cold storage unit.

Monday, 17 August 2026

Convicted Fraudster Signed Off Chaotic Government BBQ Warning


 

It turns out that it was the convicted fraudster Louise Haigh who signed off the chaotic and absurd government BBQ phone warning the other day.

Aside from scaring the Bejesus out of many people, and almost causing a number of car crashes, it has succeeded in encouraging many people to mute future warnings on their phones.

It did of course help her to find all her "missing" phones! 

Friday, 14 August 2026

Passport To Piddington



On 4 July 2026 (chosen to coincide with US Independence Day), the residents of Piddington voted overwhelmingly (reports of 175–7 or 96%) to hold a referendum on seceding from the UK / declaring independence (sometimes framed as the “Principality of Piddington”). 

A formal independence referendum is planned for September 2026. 

Piddington is currently protesting Home Office plans to house 1,250 single adult male illegal asylum seekers at a nearby former military site (MoD Bicester / Bicester barracks storage depot), which would more than triple or quadruple the village’s population of roughly 350–370 people (around 250–350 adults plus children.

Burnham claims that this part of the "fair" distribution of illegals to wealthier areas (even though it will cost the taxpayer more).

It should be noted, with a degree of irony, that the local council is a Green/LibDem coalition, and the MP is a LibDem. Both these parties support mass migration to the UK.

Wednesday, 12 August 2026

Burnham To Block Out The Sun


 

 

Tuesday, 11 August 2026

Phillips Pulled a Fake Sickie!


 

Jess Phillips has disclosed that she pretended to be ill to avoid defending Lord Mandelson. 

The former minister admitted she refused to appear for Home Office questions because she could not honestly claim that the then-ambassador was “good at his job”.

Anyone else in any other job would have been fired for doing this! 

Tuesday, 4 August 2026

Convicted Fraudster To Mind The Shop


 

Two weeks into his premiership, and Andy Burnham is going on holiday.

During his absence convicted fraudster Louise Haigh will be minding the shop! 

Friday, 31 July 2026

Convicted Fraudster Haigh Denies Invasion, Then States That It Is

 

Friday, 24 July 2026

Airmiles Andy Jets Off To an Office Block in The North


 

Burnham has flown to his office block in the North on an Airbus A321, to do a few hours work.

Aside from the absurd cost of the virtue signalling stunt, the office block is no way near as secure as Number 10. It is absurd that the Prime Minster thinks he can do this on a regular basis. 

Wednesday, 22 July 2026

Convicted Fraudster Louise Haigh Deletes Her Twitter Account


 

By way of celebrating her birthday, convicted fraudster Louise Haigh has deleted her twitter account.

https://x.com/LouHaigh 

Loose Lips Sink Sips - Burnham U Turns on a U Turn


 

In an interview over the weekend, Burnham suggested he was considering raising personal allowances.

He continued with this theme on Monday.

However, on Tuesday allies suggested he wouldn’t proceed with what would be a multi-billion pound policy, stressing he’d made no commitment.

However, today Burnham U turned on his U turn saying he’d “look at that at the budget.

This loose lipped approach to finance and policies won't do at all, he will spook the markets and undermine his chancellor. 

Tuesday, 21 July 2026

Jones Knifes Burnham Squarely In The Front


 

 

Given that it was in the public domain yesterday that digital id wasn't funded, it is noteworthy that "journalists" such as Rigby didn't mention it when trumpeting the £45 per annum saving in VAT on fuel bills.

Only when Jones blasted it out on twitter, did they bother to mention it! 

Burnham's Quality Picks

 


Saturday, 18 July 2026

It's The Lie That Gets You - Burnham Denies Role In Ousting Starmer


 

Burnham says "it wasn't me" who brought down Sir Keir Starmer - it was the Parliamentary Labour Party.

 

 

 

Friday, 17 July 2026

Marxist Coup Continues Apace

 



The entrenchment of radical networks inside the heart of British government took another significant step forward with Andy Burnham’s latest appointments.

Burnham has brought in Matthew McGregor, former Director of Hope Not Hate and current CEO of 38 Degrees (which funds the Good Law Project), as Director of Political Strategy in 10 Downing Street. He has also appointed Alison Phillips, a current board member of Hope Not Hate, as Director of Transition.

Starmer, meanwhile, has appointed former Hope Not Hate trustee Baroness Ruth Anderson (née Smeeth) as Parliamentary Secretary for the Cabinet Office. Smeeth previously worked alongside McGregor at the same organisation.

This is not mere coincidence. Hope Not Hate — an outfit that has employed a convicted paedophile Labour councillor, Liron Velleman, and the violent communist Matthew Collins — continues to be lavishly rewarded by the state.

Key Figures and Their Records

Matthew McGregor cut his teeth on Barack Obama’s 2012 campaign before returning to Britain to spearhead Hope Not Hate’s efforts against the Brexit Party in 2019. He also sits on the board of the charity Reprieve, which campaigns to prevent the stripping of British citizenship from individuals such as Rochdale grooming gang leader Shabir Ahmed and ISIS returnee Shamima Begum. His leadership of 38 Degrees further links him to high-profile legal activism through its funding of the Good Law Project.

Alison Phillips served as editor of the Daily Mirror from 2018 to 2024 and previously headed ThinkLabour.

Burnham has also recruited Hayden Munro, former campaign director for New Zealand’s Jacinda Ardern during her heavy-handed COVID era, and Sarah Brown, who spent the last five years as Sadiq Khan’s communications director.

Rounding out the inner circle, Burnham’s chief of staff will be his friend and ally James Purnell — former Labour minister, ex-chair of Tony Blair’s Institute for Public Policy Research, and one-time BBC Director of Strategy and Digital.

What This Means

These appointments reveal a coherent pattern: the fusion of state power with activist organisations, progressive media, international campaign machinery, and metropolitan political operators. Patriotism, national borders, and traditional British liberties are increasingly treated as threats rather than foundations.

Every dissenting voice, every concern about mass immigration, grooming gangs, free speech, or cultural replacement now carries a target. Expect Burnham to outpace even Keir Starmer on both open-border policies and the tightening of censorship.

The coup is not coming. It is already here — and it is consolidating its grip at pace.

Tuesday, 14 July 2026

Governed By Convicted Criminals

 

 

Every time she is mentioned in the media, her name must be preceded by "convicted fraudster"

Thursday, 9 July 2026

Governed By HR - Burnham's Vision of Rule by Lanyard

 


Burnham, a man with zero vision, has decided that the best way to govern is for every Labour MP to put his/her idea to a committee of lanyard wearing HR types.

This will end in disaster for Burnham, the Labour Party and the country. 

Tuesday, 7 July 2026

Farage To Force By-election

 

Reform state that they will cover the cost of this. 

Labour's Fake Nurse


 

Labour MP Sureena Brackenridge completely fabricated a story about a fake nurse, accompanied by an AI image (see above) and posted it to her social media 

The original post about Maya which was faked has now been deleted. Brackenridge now claims she wasn't trying to deceive anyone!

Is it not ironic that Labour keep claiming it is the far right that post lies and misinformation, yet it seems to be it is their own people who do it? 

Monday, 6 July 2026

Manchesterism Morphs To Mauritiusism - Chagos Surrender Continues



For reasons best known to himself, or rather because Jonathan Powell (a man with questionable links to China) told him so, Burnham will continue with the Chagos surrender.

This will costs taxpayers £47BN, anger Trump and blow up his spending plans.

 


Friday, 3 July 2026

Nandy Flounces Off Twitter In a Huff


 

 Lisa Nandy is flouncing off Twitter and taking her Department of "Culture" with her.

Even Cadwalladr thinks this is bollocks! 

Nandy had no problem using Twitter when it helped Labour get elected. She's posted on it over 10'000 times in total since 2009. 

Now that she is facing scrutiny, she's suddenly decided the platform is the problem. 

It goes without saying that her post announcing her flounce, has of course had the comments turned off!

This is stage one of the government's plans to try to shut Twitter down. 

Wednesday, 1 July 2026

Starmer and Reeves Leave Britain Defenceless


 

STARMER AND REEVES SCRAPE TOGETHER A PATHETIC £15BN FOR DEFENCE WHILE LEAVING BRITAIN COMPLETELY DEFENCELESS — BORDERING ON TREASON!

What a pathetic, spineless shower.

Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves have just announced a whopping £15 billion increase for defence over the next four years. Ooh, get them! The great saviours of the realm!

Except it's well short of the £28 billion the military actually said it needs. There's already a £4 billion unfunded black hole in the plan, and £10 billion of this pathetic package is made up of fantasy cuts to road projects, energy schemes and other initiatives that will magically "never happen" — the usual Labour smoke and mirrors bollocks.

And guess what? Not one single penny has been cut from the bloated welfare budget. Priorities, eh? Keep paying millions not to work, but beg, borrow and rob Peter to pay Paul when it comes to protecting the country.

This isn't a defence boost — it's a surrender document. Our armed forces are hollowed out, recruitment is in the toilet, equipment is obsolete, and these clowns are still prioritising net zero virtue-signalling and unlimited migration over keeping Britain safe.

Their criminal mismanagement of national security borders on treason. While the world gets more dangerous by the day, Starmer and Reeves are busy gutting real projects to pretend they're serious about defence. Absolute frauds.

And poor old Andy Capp Burnham — the man being lined up as the next Saviour of the Red Wall — has been dropped right in the shit. Starmer's left him a stinking £4-5 billion black hole and a half-arsed plan that satisfies nobody. Good luck sorting that mess out, Andy. Maybe you can fund it by appointing more My Little Ponies to the Treasury.

Britain is weaker, poorer and more vulnerable because of this shower. They talk tough on the world stage while leaving our forces naked and our borders wide open.

Disgraceful. Treacherous. Utterly hopeless.


Tuesday, 30 June 2026

Place-Based Cooperation - The Meaningless Phrase From The Working From Home PM In Waiting


 

"Place-based cooperation – the latest buzzphrase from yesterday’s speech by Prime Minister-in-waiting Andy Burnham – is simply the new meaningless slogan of the lanyard-wearing Westminster class.

Burnham promises a grand devolution of power across the UK. Yet Scotland and Wales already stand as cautionary tales of where this path can lead: bloated bureaucracies, poor economic performance and governance failures that England would be unwise to emulate.

Even as senior civil servants work from home, Burnham glossed over the reality. Whitehall will retain control of the issues that matter most to voters. Apart from AI, mass migration, the soaring costs of Net Zero, and defence, central government will continue to dictate:

  • Where asylum seekers are housed and dispersed (“dumped”) in communities
  • Where pylons and wind turbines are imposed on the landscape
  • Where housing for asylum seekers and refugees will be built
  • Taxation policy and overall spending
  • The direction and funding of the NHS
  • National defence and security priorities

In short, the big strategic decisions stay in London. What gets devolved are the messy local consequences and the blame when things go wrong."

Monday, 29 June 2026

Andy's Frit - Refuses To Take Questions


 

Master Communicator Burnham refuses to take any questions at his first press conference.

Thursday, 25 June 2026

Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That

 


If you were such a successful Prime Minter, as you have claimed...

Why have you resigned and why have you 400 knives in your back? 

Tuesday, 23 June 2026

Fake Accent, Fake Name, Fake Oath - Pyla Bird-Leakey (AKA Lara)

 


The SNP's latest MP, stage name "Lara Bird," is a very strange character. Real name Pyla Bird-Leakey; qualified as an English barrister (not a Scottish advocate) and until recently had an English accent.

Crossing her fingers and uttering a rambling pre amble, means that she has not taken the oath. 

The fact that this person is now an MP, tells you everything you need to know about the quality of MPs these days!  

Friday, 19 June 2026

Britain's PM In Waiting


 

As the post Makerfield glow of success fades, and Britain's PM in waiting salivates at the prospect of leading our once great country, he and his acolytes should consider the following:

  • A party of over 400 MPs is not credible if it has to shoe in a candidate from outside of their ranks to fill the non vacant slot of PM.

  • Labour hates Starmer, because he is Starmer. The voters hate Starmer, because of what is happening to the country under a Labour government; changing PM won't halt Britain's collapse, unless the PM changes course.

  • Six months in and the new PM, the Labour party and the country will realise that he is in way over his head. 

Things will become progressively worse! 

 

Wednesday, 17 June 2026

FIFA Tries To Ban English Fans Singing "Keir Starmer's a Wanker!"

 


FIFA TRY TO BAN ENGLISH FANS SINGING "KEIR STARMER'S A WANKER" — GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, YOU CLOWNS!

Oh dear, oh dear. The global footballing elite have really lost the plot this time.

England fans are belting out "Keir Starmer's a wanker!" at the top of their lungs in Tampa Bay, Florida, and across the United States during the World Cup. And what does FIFA do? They throw a massive hissy fit, threaten to kick fans out of stadiums, slap them with fines, and confiscate flags. Because nothing says "the beautiful game" quite like a bunch of Swiss bureaucrats trying to police what English supporters can sing.

Newsflash, FIFA: this isn't your pathetic little European dictatorship.

You're in America. Land of the First Amendment. Where free speech actually means something. Where you can call the President a wanker (and plenty do) without some jumped-up official in a shiny suit dragging you out by the collar. The US Constitution doesn't give a flying toss about your politically correct "no offensive language" rules. You have no jurisdiction over what fans chant on American soil, and the sooner you get that through your thick skulls the better.

These fans aren't hurling racial abuse. They're not inciting violence. They're simply expressing what millions of Brits actually think: that Sir Keir Starmer is a gutless, out-of-touch wanker who's wrecked the country in record time. Football terraces have sung far worse about managers, players and rival fans for decades. Now suddenly it's a human rights crime because it targets Dear Leader?

The sheer arrogance is breathtaking. FIFA wants to import its joyless, authoritarian nonsense to the one place on earth where it will be laughed at and ignored. English fans didn't travel thousands of miles, spend a fortune, and endure this bloated circus just to be told by some pen-pushing globalist what they can and cannot sing.

Keir Starmer's a wanker.
Keir Starmer's a wanker.
Na na na na...

Get used to it, lads. The chant is only getting louder.

FIFA can stick their rules up their arse. The fans will keep singing what they bloody well like.


Friday, 12 June 2026

Starmer Appoints New Purser To The Titanic

 


What utter bollocks! 

Wednesday, 10 June 2026

REEVES BRIBES FIRMS £5K TO HIRE FOREIGNERS

 


REEVES BRIBES FIRMS £5K TO HIRE FOREIGNERS WHILE OVER A MILLION BRITISH KIDS ROT ON THE DOLE!

Unbelievable. Absolutely fucking unbelievable.

While more than one million young British people are NEET — not in education, employment or training — and youth unemployment is climbing towards disgraceful levels, our genius Chancellor Rachel Reeves has decided the answer is to hand British firms five grand a pop to go and hire foreigners instead.

Yes, you read that right. Labour's plan for "growth" is to subsidise companies up to £5,000 per foreign worker (with a cheeky £25k cap per firm) so they can import "high-skilled talent" in tech, life sciences and green energy. Because obviously the best way to help British youngsters struggling to get a foot on the ladder is to actively make it easier and cheaper for bosses to skip them entirely.

This is the same Rachel Reeves who lectures us about "British values" and "opportunity for all." Opportunity for all... except British school-leavers and graduates, apparently. Them she’ll leave to rot on benefits while she rolls out the red carpet and opens the taxpayer wallet for overseas replacements.

Over 1 million young Brits sidelined. More than 700,000 of them outright unemployed. And her solution? Bribe companies to look abroad. Classic Labour. British kids are too expensive, too much hassle, probably not "diverse" enough. Far better to virtue-signal with other people's money and import the "best and brightest" while our own sit on the scrapheap.

This isn't economic strategy — it's national self-sabotage with a side order of betrayal.

British youngsters aren't lazy. They've been failed by a system that prioritises cheap foreign labour, net zero fantasies and every identity politics box-ticking exercise under the sun. Now the Chancellor is literally paying firms to keep failing them.

Sack this woman. Ditch this madness. Put British workers first for once in your miserable, out-of-touch lives.



Monday, 8 June 2026

All Animals Are Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others!


 

 Lammy channels his inner Napoleon from Animal Farm here.

Monday, 1 June 2026

WHO CAN WE TAX IN ORDER TO PAY BENEFITS TO OTHERS?


 

 This country is so fucked!

Andy Capp Burnham Reveals His New Commie Fisting Logo


 

Who would thought that Wolfie Smith from the 70's would become a role model for Capp, who purports to be a serious 21st century politician?

The Dead Hand of Nationalisation Strikes Again - And So Swiftly Too!

 


Saturday, 30 May 2026

Burnham Wants To Appoint My little Pony as His Chancellor



 

For reasons best known to himself, Burnham wants to appoint My Little Pony (Louise Haigh) as his Chancellor. The idea that Andy Burnham could put Louise Haigh in charge of the Treasury is truly disgraceful.

The Chancellor is not just another cabinet minister. It is one of the most important positions in government, carrying responsibility for the nation’s finances, economic stability and international credibility. Whoever occupies the role must command trust.

That is precisely why the prospect of Louise Haigh becoming Chancellor is so alarming.

Haigh resigned from government after it emerged that she had pleaded guilty in 2014 to fraud by false representation relating to a mobile phone incident, receiving a criminal conviction and a conditional discharge. She admitted the offence in court and was forced to leave the Cabinet when the matter became public. 

For most people, a criminal conviction for fraud would raise serious questions about suitability for high office. For someone being considered for Chancellor of the Exchequer — the person responsible for overseeing hundreds of billions of pounds of public money — those questions become impossible to ignore.


Friday, 29 May 2026

France Solves its Illegals' Problem By Designating Britain as Rwanda


 

In a brilliant move, France has designated Britain as Rwanda. Thus allowing it to dump all of its illegals here.

The problem for Britain being:

1 France hasn't officially told us this yet.

2 Britain is paying France to dump its illegals here. 

Wednesday, 27 May 2026

Blair Rips Miliband a New One