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The PalArse of Westminster

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Exposing the hypocrisy, greed and incompetence of our "respected" elected political "elite".

Tuesday, 30 June 2026

Place-Based Cooperation - The Meaningless Phrase From The Working From Home PM In Waiting


 

"Place-based cooperation – the latest buzzphrase from yesterday’s speech by Prime Minister-in-waiting Andy Burnham – is simply the new meaningless slogan of the lanyard-wearing Westminster class.

Burnham promises a grand devolution of power across the UK. Yet Scotland and Wales already stand as cautionary tales of where this path can lead: bloated bureaucracies, poor economic performance and governance failures that England would be unwise to emulate.

Even as senior civil servants work from home, Burnham glossed over the reality. Whitehall will retain control of the issues that matter most to voters. Apart from AI, mass migration, the soaring costs of Net Zero, and defence, central government will continue to dictate:

  • Where asylum seekers are housed and dispersed (“dumped”) in communities
  • Where pylons and wind turbines are imposed on the landscape
  • Where housing for asylum seekers and refugees will be built
  • Taxation policy and overall spending
  • The direction and funding of the NHS
  • National defence and security priorities

In short, the big strategic decisions stay in London. What gets devolved are the messy local consequences and the blame when things go wrong."

Monday, 29 June 2026

Andy's Frit - Refuses To Take Questions


 

Master Communicator Burnham refuses to take any questions at his first press conference.

Thursday, 25 June 2026

Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That

 


If you were such a successful Prime Minter, as you have claimed...

Why have you resigned and why have you 400 knives in your back? 

Tuesday, 23 June 2026

Fake Accent, Fake Name, Fake Oath - Pyla Bird-Leakey (AKA Lara)

 


The SNP's latest MP, stage name "Lara Bird," is a very strange character. Real name Pyla Bird-Leakey; qualified as an English barrister (not a Scottish advocate) and until recently had an English accent.

Crossing her fingers and uttering a rambling pre amble, means that she has not taken the oath. 

The fact that this person is now an MP, tells you everything you need to know about the quality of MPs these days!  

Friday, 19 June 2026

Britain's PM In Waiting


 

As the post Makerfield glow of success fades, and Britain's PM in waiting salivates at the prospect of leading our once great country, he and his acolytes should consider the following:

  • A party of over 400 MPs is not credible if it has to shoe in a candidate from outside of their ranks to fill the non vacant slot of PM.

  • Labour hates Starmer, because he is Starmer. The voters hate Starmer, because of what is happening to the country under a Labour government; changing PM won't halt Britain's collapse, unless the PM changes course.

  • Six months in and the new PM, the Labour party and the country will realise that he is in way over his head. 

Things will become progressively worse! 

 

Wednesday, 17 June 2026

FIFA Tries To Ban English Fans Singing "Keir Starmer's a Wanker!"

 


FIFA TRY TO BAN ENGLISH FANS SINGING "KEIR STARMER'S A WANKER" — GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, YOU CLOWNS!

Oh dear, oh dear. The global footballing elite have really lost the plot this time.

England fans are belting out "Keir Starmer's a wanker!" at the top of their lungs in Tampa Bay, Florida, and across the United States during the World Cup. And what does FIFA do? They throw a massive hissy fit, threaten to kick fans out of stadiums, slap them with fines, and confiscate flags. Because nothing says "the beautiful game" quite like a bunch of Swiss bureaucrats trying to police what English supporters can sing.

Newsflash, FIFA: this isn't your pathetic little European dictatorship.

You're in America. Land of the First Amendment. Where free speech actually means something. Where you can call the President a wanker (and plenty do) without some jumped-up official in a shiny suit dragging you out by the collar. The US Constitution doesn't give a flying toss about your politically correct "no offensive language" rules. You have no jurisdiction over what fans chant on American soil, and the sooner you get that through your thick skulls the better.

These fans aren't hurling racial abuse. They're not inciting violence. They're simply expressing what millions of Brits actually think: that Sir Keir Starmer is a gutless, out-of-touch wanker who's wrecked the country in record time. Football terraces have sung far worse about managers, players and rival fans for decades. Now suddenly it's a human rights crime because it targets Dear Leader?

The sheer arrogance is breathtaking. FIFA wants to import its joyless, authoritarian nonsense to the one place on earth where it will be laughed at and ignored. English fans didn't travel thousands of miles, spend a fortune, and endure this bloated circus just to be told by some pen-pushing globalist what they can and cannot sing.

Keir Starmer's a wanker.
Keir Starmer's a wanker.
Na na na na...

Get used to it, lads. The chant is only getting louder.

FIFA can stick their rules up their arse. The fans will keep singing what they bloody well like.


Friday, 12 June 2026

Starmer Appoints New Purser To The Titanic

 


What utter bollocks! 

Wednesday, 10 June 2026

REEVES BRIBES FIRMS £5K TO HIRE FOREIGNERS

 


REEVES BRIBES FIRMS £5K TO HIRE FOREIGNERS WHILE OVER A MILLION BRITISH KIDS ROT ON THE DOLE!

Unbelievable. Absolutely fucking unbelievable.

While more than one million young British people are NEET — not in education, employment or training — and youth unemployment is climbing towards disgraceful levels, our genius Chancellor Rachel Reeves has decided the answer is to hand British firms five grand a pop to go and hire foreigners instead.

Yes, you read that right. Labour's plan for "growth" is to subsidise companies up to £5,000 per foreign worker (with a cheeky £25k cap per firm) so they can import "high-skilled talent" in tech, life sciences and green energy. Because obviously the best way to help British youngsters struggling to get a foot on the ladder is to actively make it easier and cheaper for bosses to skip them entirely.

This is the same Rachel Reeves who lectures us about "British values" and "opportunity for all." Opportunity for all... except British school-leavers and graduates, apparently. Them she’ll leave to rot on benefits while she rolls out the red carpet and opens the taxpayer wallet for overseas replacements.

Over 1 million young Brits sidelined. More than 700,000 of them outright unemployed. And her solution? Bribe companies to look abroad. Classic Labour. British kids are too expensive, too much hassle, probably not "diverse" enough. Far better to virtue-signal with other people's money and import the "best and brightest" while our own sit on the scrapheap.

This isn't economic strategy — it's national self-sabotage with a side order of betrayal.

British youngsters aren't lazy. They've been failed by a system that prioritises cheap foreign labour, net zero fantasies and every identity politics box-ticking exercise under the sun. Now the Chancellor is literally paying firms to keep failing them.

Sack this woman. Ditch this madness. Put British workers first for once in your miserable, out-of-touch lives.



Monday, 8 June 2026

All Animals Are Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others!


 

 Lammy channels his inner Napoleon from Animal Farm here.

Monday, 1 June 2026

WHO CAN WE TAX IN ORDER TO PAY BENEFITS TO OTHERS?


 

 This country is so fucked!

Andy Capp Burnham Reveals His New Commie Fisting Logo


 

Who would thought that Wolfie Smith from the 70's would become a role model for Capp, who purports to be a serious 21st century politician?

The Dead Hand of Nationalisation Strikes Again - And So Swiftly Too!