Do Panic!

Last month I wrote:

"Congratulations to the coalition government for providing an object lesson in how to turn a drama into a crisis, by causing panic buying of petrol and a petrol shortage in the run up to a possible tanker drivers' strike."

Well now it appears that the government, contrary to popular belief, really did have a plan.

Yes, really!

The plan was not to help us drive during a tanker strike, but to save the country from recession by manipulating the statistics.

The panic buying of petrol has in fact saved the UK from recession:

"Figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) showed a 1.8% month-on-month increase in retail sales volumes and a 3.3% year-on-year rise. The increase was above economist forecasts, and were partly helped by a 4.9% increase in petrol purchases."

Huzaah!

Well done the coalition government for saving us from the recession, and for showing us all that you really do know how to manipulate people!