Do Panic!

Last month I wrote:

"Congratulations to the coalition government for providing an object lesson in how to turn a drama into a crisis, by causing panic buying of petrol and a petrol shortage in the run up to a possible tanker drivers' strike."

Well now it appears that the government, contrary to popular belief, really did have a plan.

Yes, really!

The plan was not to help us drive during a tanker strike, but to save the country from recession by manipulating the statistics.

The panic buying of petrol has in fact saved the UK from recession:

"Figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) showed a 1.8% month-on-month increase in retail sales volumes and a 3.3% year-on-year rise. The increase was above economist forecasts, and were partly helped by a 4.9% increase in petrol purchases."

Huzaah!

Well done the coalition government for saving us from the recession, and for showing us all that you really do know how to manipulate people!

Run on Jerrycans

Not only had the coalition government caused panic buying of petrol and pasties, but it has now also caused a run on jerrycans.

Halfords says it has a seen a rise of 467% in demand for jerrycans.

How not to "manage" a crisis!

Don't Panic!

Congratulations to the coalition government for providing an object lesson in how to turn a drama into a crisis, by causing panic buying of petrol and a petrol shortage in the run up to a possible tanker drivers' strike.

Seemingly thanks to government advice, as people start queueing at petrol stations and some petrol stations start to ration supplies, UK petrol sales have risen by 43% within the space of a week.

Meanwhile Francis Maude's daft advice that people should fill jerrycans has been withdrawn. Roads minister Mike Penning said that Maude's advice had been "a mistake by the cabinet minister. He didn't understand the size of a jerrycan. He has apologised since".